


Begin Again

by ladyshakespeare



Category: Twilight (Movies), Twilight Series - All Media Types, Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer
Genre: All Human, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Based on a Taylor Swift Song, Blind Date, Complete, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, F/M, Falling In Love, Family, Family Reunions, Fear, Finding Love, First Kiss, Happy Ending, Jasper is her savior, Kissing, Love Confessions, Oral Sex, Originally Posted on FanFiction.Net, POV First Person, Reunions, Riley abused Alice, Romance, Sex, Stalker, Starting Over, mentions of abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-16
Updated: 2021-03-16
Packaged: 2021-03-25 03:01:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 20
Words: 31,467
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30082464
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ladyshakespeare/pseuds/ladyshakespeare
Summary: Alice Brandon had been in one bad relationship after another. Her latest boyfriend criticized her for everything and abused her all the time. She runs away to a new city, terrified that he will find her. After eight months on her own, she agrees to go on a blind date with a man who will make her change her whole perspective on everything. J/A. All human.
Relationships: Alice Cullen/Jasper Hale, Carlisle Cullen/Esme Cullen, Edward Cullen/Bella Swan, Emmett Cullen/Rosalie Hale, Riley Biers/Alice Cullen





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So as you can tell by the title, this story is inspired by Taylor Swift's hit song. She just has so many great songs for Twilight fan fic stories.

Took a deep breath in the mirror  
He didn't like it when I wore high heels  
But I do.  
Turn the lock and put my headphones on  
He always said he didn't get this song  
But I do, I do.

Walked in expecting you'd be late  
But you got here early and you stand and wave  
I walk to you.  
You pull my chair out and help me in  
And you don't know how nice that is  
But I do.

And you throw your head back laughing  
Like a little kid.  
I think it's strange that you think I'm funny cause  
He never did.  
I've been spending the last 8 months  
Thinking all love ever does  
Is break and burn and end.  
But on a Wednesday in a cafe  
I watched it begin again.

You said you never met one girl who  
Had as many James Taylor records as you  
But I do.  
We tell stories and you don't know why  
I'm coming off a little shy  
But I do.

And you throw your head back laughing  
Like a little kid.  
I think it's strange that you think I'm funny cause  
He never did.  
I've been spending the last 8 months  
Thinking all love ever does  
Is break and burn and end.  
But on a Wednesday in a cafe  
I watched it begin again.

And we walked down the block, to my car  
And I almost brought him up.  
But you start to talk about the movies  
That your family watches every single Christmas  
And I want to talk about that.  
And for the first time  
What's past is past.

And you throw your head back laughing  
Like a little kid.  
I think it's strange that you think I'm funny cause  
He never did.  
I've been spending the last 8 months  
Thinking all love ever does  
Is break and burn and end.  
But on a Wednesday in a cafe  
I watched it begin again.

But on a Wednesday in a cafe  
I watched it begin again.

-Taylor Swift

* * *

Chapter 1

I sighed and looked at myself in the mirror. I didn't know why I agreed to do this. I was done dating. Every relationship had been disastrous. My most recent one with Riley had almost killed me. Literally. He was abusive and insulted me at every turn. I was lucky to walk away, but I knew that someday, he would find me. I ran, hoping he wouldn't. But I knew down deep that my luck wouldn't hold out forever.

I sat down on the bed and put on my shoes. They were so pretty! Red patent leather high-heeled peep toes. They matched my flowing red skirt that came to the knee and oversized belt. My shirt was white and looked like a dressed up version of a tee-shirt with a scooping neck. I had cut my hair when I moved away, so it was short and spiky. I looked like a pixie with that style and my petite nature, but that was fine with me. I was happy with it.

_He didn't like it when I wore high heels._

Riley wanted me in flats all the time. It was because he wanted to tower over me, a sign of dominance. I can't believe I gave him two years of my life.

I shook my head and headed back over to the mirror.

I applied my makeup and stared at my reflection. The physical scars had mostly faded, save for a few on my right leg, but the emotional ones were plain on my face. At least, to me. To a stranger, he wouldn't know.

I grabbed my purse and headed out the door, turning my key in the lock and then putting my ear buds in and turning up the music. My favorite song from James Taylor was on and I sang along to it.

_He always said he didn't get this song._

There were a lot of things Riley Biers never got. He never _wanted_ to get them. He made me feel like a fool; like everything I did was wrong. Even after eight months of running, he still haunted me at every turn. Would I ever get over it? I seriously began to doubt it.

The café where I agreed to meet this Jasper Cullen was about two blocks from my apartment. Waiting for the walk sign to change at a traffic stop, I pulled up the picture of him on my phone that my best friend Rosalie had sent me.

The most beautiful man I had ever seen appeared on my screen. And Rose said he's better-looking in person. As I began to cross the street when the light changed, my conversation with her replayed in my mind.

_He's my brother. A Chicago native like me, he moved down to Texas for college. He moved back here two years ago when he got a teaching job at Northwestern. He had a bad break up four years ago and he's looking to get back into the dating scene. You'll love him, Al. He's a great guy. And a COMPLETE gentleman._

That was someone I didn't need. After all the losers I dated, I firmly believed that was what I deserved. Nice guys could stay far, far away.

I figured I'd go and humor her and then return to my solitude. She had arranged everything, the meeting spot, and the time; even what I should wear. I wanted to resent her meddling, but instead I found it endearing.

_She is a great friend. Too bad I'll disappoint her like this._

My stomach sank as I approached the café. I assumed he would be late. Again, that was a trait from the losers I had been with. Riley once made me wait by myself in a restaurant for an hour and when he showed up, he ordered water and then we left about fifteen minutes later. He never apologized for being late. He was so controlling. And later when I asked him about it, my response was a black eye.

_I can't believe I was so stupid about him._

The last eight months of my life really put everything into perspective. I realized how horrendous my life had been, even though I couldn't see it then. I have _never_ had a loving, decent relationship. I doubted I ever would.

_Jasper will take one look at me and run. As he should._

Wishing I could still be at home, I pushed the door to the café open and stepped inside, allowing my eyes to adjust to the light. A movement to my left made my head turn and I gasped.

_He was early._

He stood up and waved with a big smile on his face. I walked to him slowly, still floored that he was already here.

He reached out for my hand as I approached and I gave it to him. Instead of shaking it, he brought it to his lips and kissed it, his lips lingering for a few seconds longer.

_Seriously, who does that anymore?_

It was at that moment that I noticed the warmth and the electricity that surged through me at his touch. I had never felt anything like it before. It was as though my whole body was on fire. And I wasn't sure it was a bad thing.

"Miss Alice," he said softly. "It is a pleasure to meet you."

His slight Texas drawl made me melt. It sounded so sexy and when I made eye contact with him, I turned into goo. Rosalie was right; he _was_ better looking in person. He was tall, like the rest of them, but his height didn't seem to dominate. He had short, blond hair and the bluest eyes I had ever seen. His body was toned and his muscular arms peeked out from his short sleeves.

_Gorgeous._

"Hi," I managed to squeak out. He released my hand and I pouted at the loss of contact. Then he pulled out my chair for me and I sat down as he pushed it in a bit.

_You have no idea how nice that is. But I do._

He sat across from me and signaled the waiter. "What do you want to order?"

The waiter approached and I decided to go light on everything. I ordered an egg salad sandwich and a latte, while Jasper went for just a buttered croissant and plain, black coffee.

"So, Alice," Jasper said. I turned to look at him. His eyes were kind. "Tell me a bit about yourself."

I lowered my eyes to the table. What could I say? _"I only date losers and the last one was the king of them all. He beat me and I never had a moment's happiness. I got away from him, but it's only a matter of time before he finds me."_

_Yeah, that'll work._

Jasper reached across the table and placed his hand over mine. The surge was back and I closed my eyes at the feeling. He stared at our hands for a moment. He felt it too.

"Hey," he finally said softly. When I opened my eyes, I saw concern in his. He really was interested in me; he didn't just want me as a trophy.

_He doesn't know you yet, Alice. Once you let him in, he'll be like all the rest. Remember, they started off sweet as well._

I shoved that stupid voice aside for now. I just wanted to have a nice afternoon with a presumably nice man.

He smiled sweetly. "It's okay, Alice. I don't bite." His blue eyes sparkled.

I laughed at his comment. "I know. Sorry. I'm just unsure what you want to know about."

He squeezed my hand. "Whatever you want to tell me."

Taking a deep breath, I decided to go with a few favorites of mine. I told him my favorite movie, color and song. It was easy to talk to him and he was completely engaged in what I had to say. I found myself opening up to him.

"So this one day, Rosalie and I are visiting this farm and when we ring the doorbell, their pet rooster comes barreling out at us. You should have seen how fast we bolted, and we were both in heels. I don't think Rosalie ever moved so fast in her life!" I said, laughing.

Jasper threw back his head laughing, just like a little kid. "That is so great. You are so funny, Alice." He wiped some tears away that had formed during his laughter.

I found it strange that he thought I was funny. Riley never did. He never laughed at my jokes. He always said I wasn't funny and that my place was beneath him.

"You know," he said, "I've never met a girl who has as many James Taylor records as I do. It's refreshing to not have to teach them about him, especially when they don't get music."

I nodded. I got that. Music is very special. It can convey emotions that you can't say. James helped me through the dark days of my life and he's helping me heal now.

The time flew by and before I knew it, two hours had passed! He looked at his watch and stood up. "I'm sorry to cut this short, Alice, but I need to get back to the campus." Extending his hand out, I took it and stood up. He handed me my purse.

"I'll walk you out."

I nodded and led the way out the door.

_Maybe I should bring him up. Let him know why I'm hesitant._

Suddenly he started to talk about Christmas movies of all things.

"Have you seen _Die Hard_?"

I shook my head. He chuckled.

"I ask because it's one of the Christmas movies we watch in the Cullen household every year. My mother loves those cheesy Hallmark movies and forces us to watch them when Rosalie and I visit so every year we make a deal that on Christmas Eve, we watch _Die Hard_. It's a fair compromise."

I laughed and nodded. "Sounds like it."

"I'll never admit this to her," he said with a sly smile, "but I actually like some of those Hallmark stories. That will be our secret though." He winked at me and I smiled widely.

"Of course."

We walked to the corner.

"Are you safe to walk to your apartment?" he asked me.

"Oh, yes. I'm just over that way. Plus, these shoes are weapons," I said with a laugh.

His eyes travelled down to my feet and then slowly rose up, taking in every part of my body. But I didn't feel disgusted, like he was ogling me or anything. It felt powerful actually, like he was a man dying of thirst and I was his drink. His eyes lingered on my lips for a few seconds and I saw his Adam's apple bob.

"Jasper?"

His eyes snapped to mine and he blushed. He actually _blushed._ It was cute. I chuckled sweetly and he grinned.

"I'd love to see you again, Alice."

I stopped laughing and my heart began pounding. This is how it happened. The first date or so were perfect and then once I fell, he changed. I couldn't let that happen again. I wouldn't survive it.

"We'll see," I said quietly, casting my eyes down.

Once again, he took my hand. Once again, the electricity between us surged. Once again, I wished I was worthy of this Greek God in front of me.

_Run._

He gently lifted my chin with his other hand until I was looking into those beautiful blue eyes.

"Rose told me that you would be resistant. She said it wasn't her place to tell me what happened, but not to take 'no' for an answer."

I raised an eyebrow at him. He smiled.

"I can be very persistent when I want something," he said, squeezing my hand.

_Run. RUN._

Every fiber in my being was telling me no, that it was a mistake. I couldn't get involved with someone after only being on my own eight months. I couldn't go down that path again. But something screamed yes inside my head and I gave him an affirmative answer.

"You won't regret it," he said as he smiled again. He let go of my hand and then waved goodbye. I waved back, laughing at his silliness and watched him turn on his heel and walk to his car. He climbed in, started it up and pulled away. He honked the horn at me as he passed.

I replayed the events of this afternoon as I walked back to my apartment. Everything appeared to have the makings of a real relationship. And all the makings of an abusive one. They always start out sweet and charming until they get you. Then they change.

_But he DID do things that the others didn't do, such as listen to you and pull out your chair. You experienced that surge of electricity and think he felt it too. Take it slow, don't give him much and see how it goes._

As I entered my apartment, I was determined to not think about Jasper Cullen for the remainder of the day. But as dusk fell in the city, I was acutely aware that something was happening to me. That Jasper had got in. I couldn't figure it out then, but my life was about to begin again.


	2. Chapter 2

**Jasper**

"Come on, Rose. Give me _something._ "

Rosalie smiled at me and shook her head. She knew I would be smitten with Alice as soon as I met her. How could I not? She really was great. She didn't give herself enough credit, thanks to the assholes she had dated, but she really was a gem. And a great friend to Rose. In the eight months that she had known Alice Brandon, she had become a sister to her.

_Ew, incest_ , I joked to myself.

I took a swig of my beer and put the bottle down on the coffee table. I reached for my phone. Rosalie saw that I was looking at Alice's picture once again.

It was taken a week ago, after they went on a shopping excursion. Alice was wearing a pretty black sundress with daisies on it that showed off her amazing figure and toned legs. Upon zooming in on the picture, I noticed a few scars on the right one. I frowned at that. They didn't look like surgery scars.

She was smiling in the picture, but it didn't reach her eyes. They still looked sad. And afraid.

_Of what?_

"She's beautiful, huh?" Rosalie asked, looking over my shoulder.

I just nodded. I was definitely was intrigued by her. My mind wandered back to the night Rosalie texted me saying she had just the girl for me. I rolled my eyes at her meddling. She had set me up with her friend Tanya previously and just like Maria, it had ended disastrously. The difference was that unlike Maria, Tanya did care about me. Too much to be exact. I had to get that restraining order against her to get any peace. And it wasn't like I had been that into her; we had only gone out twice. Granted, I had kissed her once, but that was because we were at a party and played suck and blow. She dropped the card and shoved her tongue down my throat. I didn't mind girls being forward but since I was already on the fence about her, it was not what I needed. That is what ended things with me.

Tanya didn't understand that. She stalked me for two months until I got that restraining order. I even moved to a different part of the city so she couldn't follow me.

I swear though that I still see her on campus occasionally.

_That's your paranoia._

But I'm still cautious whenever at work.

"And she is nothing like Tanya" Rosalie said.

_How does she do that?_

"She was very sweet. A little shy though." I thought about the beautiful woman sitting across from me this afternoon. She had brown eyes that were so expressive, yet hid so much. With the exception of those scars on her right leg, which I was able to view a little more up close, her skin was so smooth. I had wanted to reach out and touch it. I even wanted to run my hand over those scars, letting her know that they are a sign of her strength. My normal gentlemanly manner had disappeared for a bit while I conversed with the mysterious Alice Brandon. I admit, my thoughts travelled to the gutter and I couldn't find it in myself to feel guilty about that.

_What I wouldn't give to kiss those plump lips. To breathe her in, make her mine. Watch her on top of me, riding me, as those pert breasts that peeked out of her blouse bounced up and down, teasing and tormenting me as she rides my dick hard. So hard she screams my name as she comes, waking the neighbors._

I shook my head.

_It's been way too long since I've gotten laid._

And yet, with Alice, I knew it wouldn't be just sex. I'll admit, I did have sexual thoughts about Tanya at first, and even after not wanting to see her, I did consider having a booty call. Hey, I'm a guy in my late 20s; what do you expect?

"I want her, Rose. Not just for sex. I want to know _her_ , to be with her. I fell for her when you sent me this picture and even harder when I met her."

Rosalie smiled. She knew Alice would be the one for her brother.

I looked at her. "Please, give me something."

She nodded. "She had it rough. None of her relationships were good. She is very cautious and rightly so."

I understood that. I had a suspicion of what it was and if I'm right, pray I never meet the bastard.

"But it's not my story to tell. Get to know her and she'll open up to you."

I nodded. There was no way I was letting Alice Brandon go. I knew that she would resist; hell I was already expecting a text from her saying she couldn't see me again. But I would persist. Not Tanya persist, but let her know that I am the real deal. That she never need be cautious around me; that I will treat her as the goddess she is. I will make her forget whatever asshole hurt her and show her that decent men _do_ exist.

I already knew that she was it for me. She was _the one._ I had felt it when I took her hand that first time. The electricity surged. I knew at that moment why I had moved back to Chicago. Yes, my job and my family were here, but there was more to it than that. It was because I was to find _her_. And I will make her see that she is worthy of love, that she is beautiful and should be treated as such.

She is my soulmate.

_Yes. I will make her begin again._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This will mainly be from Alice's point of view but I think Jasper helps to move the story along. Please review.


	3. Chapter 3

I sat back in my chair and rubbed my eyes. I had been reading the same sentence over and over for thirty minutes and it didn't make any sense. I needed a break.

_The life of a graduate student._

I had decided when I moved to Chicago to take online classes to earn my master's degree. I really wanted to work in fashion and found a comparable school online that could meet my needs. I didn't want to physically go to school nor could I afford it. So online worked. And I took accelerated classes so I only had about three more to go before I finished. Then I planned on taking the fashion world of Chicago by storm.

After making a sandwich I returned to my computer. I decided to do a bit of cyber stalking. I went to my Facebook and logged in. Yes, I knew it was probably dangerous having a Facebook when Riley was out there, but I had hoped I had changed enough about the page that it wouldn't seem like me. Hell I didn't even use my picture; just a picture of a lily. And most of my other pictures were memes and such, nothing that really gave me away. Nothing that would tie me to him or him to me. And since my name was changed, I figured there was less chance he would connect the dots.

I pulled up my twin brother's page. Well, what I could see of it as he didn't know who Alice Brandon was and I didn't send him a friend request.

God I missed him. When I ran, I didn't tell him where I was going. I didn't want to take any chances of Riley finding me. This way, if he did confront Edward, he could honestly say he had no idea where I was.

His profile pic smiled at me. And I smiled at it. Edward always had such a great smile. He really was a handsome man. I was still surprised that at 28, he hadn't met his soulmate yet. I scrolled through his page to see what information I could find.

He had updated his work, now employed at a music store in Seattle. That was great because music was his life. I enjoyed it, he _lived_ for it. He couldn't believe that we were twins that were so opposite when it came to his passion. But then, it wasn't like he was into fashion. Cut from the same cloth, but still separate personalities.

I saw a few new pictures as well. Mainly with friends. I saw one that clenched my heart. It was of us. He didn't have me tagged, of course, but I could see the caption. And it broke me.

_No matter where she is, I will always love my twin._

A few tears rolled down my cheeks as I scrolled past.

There was an article on his page titled _Hunt still on for missing Forks woman after tragic house fire._ I think he was sending me clues that he was determined to find me. I say that because unlike some things on his page, this was public. Like he knew I would be looking.

_Maybe someday, Edward._

I had a notification from Rosalie, so I clicked on it. It was a link to a store Rose had been talking about, a shoe store. She had tagged me in it. "Alice Brandon" it said. I smiled and liked the link.

Then I saw the friend request.

My heart pounded in my ears as I clicked on it. Jasper Cullen. I realized that Rosalie had tagged me in that post so Jasper could find me.

_Smooth Rose._

I accepted the request and then perused his page. I knew he taught at Northwestern University but I didn't know he also coached the men's soccer team. There was a picture of him in a coach's uniform wearing a baseball cap with a capital N on the front of it. He was blowing on the whistle. Damn, that was sexy.

_I wish I was that whistle._

Where in the hell did that come from? I shook my head to lose those betraying thoughts of mine. It didn't work as I scrolled through his page.

_Why does that man have to be so damn sexy? And why in the hell isn't he married?_

That was seriously the number one question I had when Rosalie told me about him. I know she said he had been hurt by an ex awhile back, but the fact he was single for so long was a red flag to me. He couldn't be that great of a guy, sexy, charming and articulate and be single. There was no way.

_Wow. He's only been teaching at Northwestern for two years and he's helped lead the soccer team to a championship. Way to go, Jasper._

Continuing to scroll through the page, I saw Rosalie commenting on a bunch of stuff. And then I saw it. The post about their parents.

_Senator Esme Cullen and her husband, Dr. Carlisle Cullen, attend the ribbon-cutting ceremony for the new children's hospital in downtown Chicago. Their own children Jasper and Rosalie Cullen were in attendance as well._

Family picture. My god they were all beautiful. This Carlisle looked like an older version of Jasper with the same blond hair and blue eyes. The only one who stood out like a sore thumb in the picture was Esme. Still beautiful, but with caramel colored hair and brown eyes.

My eyes drifted to Jasper in the picture. He had a crooked smile as he looked at the camera, his lean and toned body hidden by a dress coat. I had a thought of ripping that coat off of him.

_Stop it._

I shook my head and decided it was time to get back to the books. I had to be at the shop at eight in the morning and my paper was due tomorrow night. I figured I could get a page or so done now and then write the rest on my lunch break.

I clicked back on the eBook I was reading and re-read that damn sentence again, this time it making sense. I typed a few notes into the margin when I had a notification pop up.

_Jasper wants to chat with you on Messenger._

Frowning, I accepted it.

_Hello. :)_

I smiled.

_Hello back._

_How are you?_ He asked.

Scared as always that Riley will find me, wondering what the hell I'm doing with my life.

_Fine. You?_

_Peachy._

I laughed. He really was charming.

 _Peaches are good this time of year,_ I typed to him.

_LOL._

He was typing for a little bit so I got up and put my dish in the sink. I decided my paper could wait until tomorrow; I was always good at bullshitting my way through them.

_Thank you for accepting my friend request. I was worried you wouldn't._

_You seem like a nice guy, Jasper. It would be great to have another friend._

I figured that was safe.

_Friend?_

_Yeah._

He was silent for a bit. A part of me hoped I hadn't upset him, but another part of me didn't really care. Dude needed to know that I was not what he needed.

_Rosalie said you would be standoffish. I plan to change that._

Well that was interesting.

_How?_

_I don't know what happened to you, but I know someone made you afraid. Someone made you feel you were unworthy of love, of happiness. I plan to show you that is not the case._

I shook my head.

_I'm not what you need._

Direct truth is best.

 _I'll be the judge of that,_ was his answer.

Okay, this was starting to make me nervous. Not because it was like the men in my past, but because it _wasn't_ like the men in my past. I knew their pattern; this didn't fit.

_You're not what I need either._

Time to let him down.

_What do you need?_

Hmmm. I hadn't really thought about it. I didn't answer right away because I was thinking of how to respond.

_Don't push me away, Alice. Believe me when I say we're right for one another._

Oh how I wanted to.

_I hope you're right, Jasper. But I have to go now. I'm studying and have to be at work in the morning._

_Sure thing. What time are you off tomorrow?_

I shook my head. He is persistent, I will give him that.

_3._

_Damn. I have office hours then. How about meeting me at the campus at 4?_

A lump formed in my throat as I typed out my response. Time to let him down.

_Sure._

What the hell?

_:) :)_

I laughed.

_History wing, building 2. Just tell them you're meeting Coach Cullen and someone will show you to my office._

_Sounds good._

What am I doing?

_I will see you then, Alice. Take care. I'll be thinking of you._

Yeah, cause that won't scare a girl who been running from abusive men her whole life.

_See you then._

I logged out quickly before he could say anymore. Closing my laptop, I suddenly had a headache. What was I doing? I can't go through this again. My last relationship nearly killed me and I'm afraid he still might.

A quiet voice inside of me said to give him a chance, that this time it will be different. I don't know why, but I decided to listen to that voice.

_Tomorrow then, Coach Cullen._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Of course, it is understandable that Alice is hesitant. As the story progresses, you will see her push Jasper away. But don't fret! He will not take that lightly. I PROMISE a HEA for them.
> 
> Thanks for reading.


	4. Chapter 4

**Jasper**

I love teaching. I really, really do. But I hate grading papers. It takes too long and I feel it wastes valuable time. I understand that they have to write them; hell I had a 60 page paper I had to knock out in three days while working on my doctorate. But now that I'm the one assigning them, I see them as useless.

But like in any other job, there are things you like and things you don't. I sucked it up and spent two hours in my office grading.

I was just returning from getting more coffee when I noticed the time; Alice was due any minute. I suddenly became excited and nervous. I really, really hoped she would take me up on my offer to see me but had a bit of doubt that she wouldn't. If she didn't, I wouldn't be deterred. I know these things take time and until she officially orders me away, I'm going to pursue her.

After I had finished chatting with her on messenger last night, I did some research. I googled her type of behavior to see what I could find out. I knew I would have to be cautious but I am definitely up for the challenge.

_Please don't push me away, Alice._

I tried to distract myself by grading some more papers. At about five after four, I heard a light knock on my door.

"Come in."

She did it. She showed up. I was so happy I shot out of my chair, knocking my coffee onto the floor. I started to clean it up when she bent down to help me.

"I'm so sorry," she said quietly.

I looked at her. Well, the top of her head as it was bent down. "What do you have to be sorry about?"

She answered quietly. "I caused you to spill your coffee."

_Shit!_

I finished mopping it up and then gently took her hands and cleaned them off. To my surprise, she let me.

"You did, but it was only because I was so excited to see you."

She actually peeked up at me under her lashes. Damn, the look went straight south.

_Control yourself._

"I mean it. I am very excited that you are here. I shouldn't have had my coffee cup so close to the edge anyway, but since this happened, I am not about to pass up the opportunity to hold your hand."

She glanced down at our now-entwined hands and blushed. I chuckled softly.

"I like it too."

I did a happy dance inside.

Giving her hand a squeeze and keeping my cool vernacular, I gently pulled her into a standing position. I made sure to not be too close at first so she didn't feel crowded. I released her hand (and the electricity that had been warming my body left) and turned to the desk.

"Let me just put these away."

She nodded and turned to the window.

After I locked my drawer, I turned to the window too. It overlooked the football field and was actually a beautiful sight.

"Why didn't you tell me you coached soccer?"

I shrugged. "Figured Rose did."

Alice shook her head. "I think she wanted to keep us a mystery to one another."

I chuckled. "Well she certainly succeeded."

She nodded and then turned to me. Smiling, she said "can I have a tour?"

I held out my arm for her to take. "Absolutely, milady."

She laughed and wrapped her left hand through it. After locking my office door, I took her on a quick tour of Northwestern. Well, the history and science wing at least.

"In addition to coaching soccer, I also moderate the chess team."

She looked at me while we walked.

"Yes, I know. I'm a geek."

She laughed. "Not at all. I think that's great. I've always wanted to learn to play chess."

I smiled. "I will teach you."

She looked a bit sad then.

"What is it?" I asked gently.

"You're so busy."

I shrugged and gave her hand a squeeze. "Never too busy for those who matter to me."

She glanced at me and saw I was sincere.

She blushed. I chuckled.

Several students spoke to me as we walked around. I did notice a few checking her out. While that made me happy for her, I was also a bit protective.

_She's mine._

Well, not yet.

We stopped at the soccer field and saw the boys practicing. They waved at me but there was no official practice scheduled today, no one came up to me for anything.

"A lot of students like you."

I smiled. "I try to be a fair teacher. I will give them breaks but I let them know I do hold them accountable too. Some of these students have never had that and although it's a shock at first, they really respect that. They know that I have faith in them to do the work but they also know that if they need an extension due to something important, I will grant it."

"Wow," she said. "I wish I had had you as a teacher."

I laughed. "Good thing you didn't; I would have broken all rules to be with you."

She blushed again. I smiled. I want to make her blush like that all the time.

And of course, my traitorous body began reacting to that blush. My eyes briefly flickered down to her chest. She had on tank top but I could see a bit of cleavage. Not too much, but enough to make my mind race.

_Stop. It._

On the way back to the history building, I stopped and picked a flower for her. I handed it to her and she put it in her hair. It looked radiant but it caused a strand to fall out of place. I reached out to move the hair and that's when I made my mistake.

She flinched away at the movement of my hand by her head and I froze. She didn't run but I could hear her breathing heavily and I slowly dropped my hand. She then looked down at the ground like she was ashamed of her reaction.

_I knew it._

I fucking knew.

_Whoever this guy is, pray I NEVER encounter him._

"I wasn't going to hit you," I said quietly.

_Tread lightly._

"I know."

Her eyes were still downcast. I knew it was not only a sign of shame, but also submission. Whoever this fuck was, he made her believe she wasn't worthy to look him in the eye. He made her believe it was okay to hurt her. Anger fueled me, but not at her.

Slowly, gently, I lifted her chin until her eyes met mine. They were sad and a bit frightened.

"I'll never lay a hand on you," I said quietly. I hoped to God she believed me. "I promise."

She stared into my eyes, searching. I stared back into her beautiful brown ones, letting her see I was dead serious at what I was saying.

_Please believe me._

Electricity was humming all around us. My hand left her chin and slowly made its way to her cheek. I cupped it softly and she leaned into my touch. I gently stroked the apple, my eyes never leaving hers.

God, I wanted to kiss her. So much. The urge was so overwhelming that I almost buckled with it. With that want. That desire. I have never wanted anything more in my entire life.

But I wanted to do it at her speed. I'm guessing that men in the past have been more than aggressive with her. Taking things without permission. I won't do that. She needs to know she is in control.

She smiled at me. Her eyes said "thank you."

I gently pulled away from her. The electricity didn't diminish, even if it was lessened. Letting the moment pass, I once again held out my arm for her to take. She did and I turned away from the history wing to the cafeteria.

"Hungry?" I said with a smile. She nodded.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Slowly but surely, he is making his way in. He'll have some work to do, but Alice is his soulmate. She's worth it.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

It was a busy day in the shop. We had just started a buy one, get one free on all skirts and slacks, so of course it was a madhouse. Plus, it was double points day so women were racking things up.

I personally loved it.

I wanted to go into fashion not only to express myself creatively, but for _this._ For people to clamor over themselves to get a deal. To help people out. And while this boutique was rather pricy, I planned on marking all of my designs reasonable for _any_ woman, no matter what her budget.

_Why should only the rich ones get to look nice?_

After hanging up the phone for the fourth time, I turned back to the counter. Jessica, the owner, was there with me and looked a bit frazzled. I smiled and helped the next customer in line.

_It's going to be a long day._

But it went quickly.

I waited on this beautiful woman in her late 40s with caramel-colored hair. She was so nice and sweet. She bought two blouses and two skirts from me and even gave me an additional tip. I almost didn't notice she had a man waiting by the door for her. I wondered why he hadn't come in and sat down on one of our cushy chairs. But I was so busy that the thought was fleeting.

When four o'clock came, there was a delivery. I was wrapping up a package in silver paper for a gift so I didn't pay attention at first. That is, until Jessica spoke up.

"You have an admirer, Alice."

I looked up from my work to see a huge bouquet of roses had been delivered. My eyes grew wide.

_Who in their right mind…._

Then I knew the answer.

_Jasper._

It had been three days since I saw him at Northwestern. I was so ashamed of myself with how I acted. I couldn't believe that he was continuing to talk to me on Facebook. But he was.

And now this.

I finished with the gift and signed for the flowers. Then I pulled out the card.

_Just letting you know that someone can't stop thinking about you. Dinner soon? -J_

I sighed.

Jessica picked up the vase and smelled the flowers. "Oh my god, roses are my favorite!" she exclaimed. "And they smell divine!" She looked at them. "They're gorgeous; what are they called?"

"Sterling roses," I said absentmindedly.

My mind was reeling. I didn't know what I should do. Yes, we had been talking on Facebook but I thought I had made it clear that I was pushing him away. It's not that I didn't want to, every fiber in my being was screaming for me to give him a chance. It was as though somehow, it knew things would be different.

But I didn't know if I could.

Even if by some chance he was kind and decent, my issues cut to the bone. He would _never_ want to deal with a whack job like me. Riley has effectively broken me for any man.

Or so I thought.

Snapping back to reality, I turned to the flowers. They really were beautiful. So light and full of life. Their purple color shone in the sunlight.

"He remembered," I muttered.

"Remembered what?" Jessica asked, turning to me.

"Oh, the other day we were talking and I just mentioned that sterling roses were my favorite. He made no mention of it, so I figured it wasn't important."

Jessica nodded. "Honey, this guy is smitten."

I shook my head at her and picked up the vase. "He's not."

She tilted her head to the side and looked at me. "Alice, I know men. I'm dating Mike Newton, remember? He has _never_ done anything like this because he doesn't have a romantic bone in his body. _This_ is the sign of someone serious." She glanced at the card and then held it up. "See?"

I averted her eyes.

I placed the roses on the back counter so they wouldn't get knocked over. Kate, our night manager, made her way in through the door and waved at us. She apologized for being late, but brought us coffee as a peace offering.

"I will forgive anything for coffee," Jessica said. We laughed.

I gathered up my stuff and took the vase. Jessica spoke up as I headed to the door.

"All I'm saying is, not all guys are alike. You may have found _the one,_ Alice."

I smiled at her and nodded before walking out the door. I received a lot of compliments about the flowers as I carried them to my apartment.

Exiting the elevator on my floor, I noticed the door adjacent to mine was open and boxes were everywhere. Someone was obviously moving in.

I squeezed past a box to get to my door and placed the key in the lock.

"Oh, I'm so sorry."

I turned around to the brunette standing behind me. She had a smile on her face that made me instantly smiled back.

"No problem," I said honestly, taking the key out and balancing the flowers.

She glanced at them. "You're so lucky," she said. "All the guys I've dated have been cads. They would never do anything romantic. Your partner must be special."

I knew she was being polite and not implying anything about my sexual preference since we were strangers. I glanced at the flowers.

"To be honest, I hardly know the guy. I'm playing hard to get but he keeps on getting me."

The brunette laughed. "I'm Bella."

"Alice."

She nodded. "Nice to meet you, Alice. I won't keep you but glad I got to meet my neighbor."

I glanced at the boxes still littering the hallway. "Would you like some help?"

She looked at me, surprised. "Sure, if it's not too much of an inconvenience."

I shook my head. "Not at all. I have a feeling we're going to be great friends. I'd love to help."

She nodded back.

"Okay then. Just give me a few minutes to get these into my place and change, and I'll be out."

With my help, my new neighbor had everything moved in in half an hour. As a thank you, she invited me to stay for a glass of wine.

We learned a bit about each other. She told me she was from Arizona and had just gotten a job as a campaign manager to Rosalie's mother!

"I didn't know there was a position open, not that it would have mattered."

Bella smiled. "Yeah, it was kept pretty private. Senator Cullen wanted less press this time because she's afraid of what it does to her kids."

"I know them," I said. "Her kids."

She looked surprised. "Small world."

I nodded. "Rosalie is actually a really good friend of mine. She was the first friend I made when I moved here. Her brother, Jasper, is the one who sent the flowers," I said with a nod towards my apartment.

She nodded slowly. "I see."

I raised an eyebrow. "What?"

She shrugged. "You're being pursued by Senator Cullen's son. That's impressive."

"Not really."

"I'm not saying there's anything wrong with that," she clarified. "But Esme has told me about her children. Jasper doesn't just date anyone."

I choked on my wine. "Seems pretty personal for a campaign manager."

She chuckled. "I know. I guess I just have that face."

We talked some more before I decided I needed to get some homework done. We agreed to have lunch the next day at my place and we would discuss men then.

I leaned against my door after shutting it. I knew I had a new friend. I was excited about that. I pulled out my phone to text Rosalie the news.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So Bella is now on the scene! And Alice still hasn't decided about Jasper. That will take her a little while more.


	6. Chapter 6

I finally agreed to dinner with Jasper. Damn, the man can be persuasive. I thanked him for the flowers and had said no to dinner, reminding him that he didn't want to get involved with me.

"Let me be the judge of that."

I rolled my eyes. "Jasper, I'm broken. Why are you wasting your time?"

I heard him sigh over the phone. "You are not broken, Alice. Far from it. You've just been dealt a shitty hand. We both have. And now, the universe is making up for it."

I hardly had paid attention to what he said because his slight Texas accent had come through the phone. I felt the warmth spread all the way to my toes and back up.

_So sexy._

"Alright," I said quietly.

"Alright?" he questioned.

"Yes. Alright. I'll have dinner with you."

I could practically hear the grin.

So here I was, standing in my underwear and bra in front of my closet, deciding what to wear.

_I should have just bought something at the boutique._

He said he was taking me someplace nice, which didn't make me _at all_ nervous, so I wanted to look my best. I finally decided on a burgundy faux leather dress. I matched it with burgundy flats and a gold necklace. I added some product to my hair and applied my makeup. I had to admit, I looked damn good. I noticed the scars on my right leg. I applied some concealer to them to hide them. I didn't want questions just yet.

When there was a knock at the door, I glanced at my watch.

_He's early._

But it wasn't him.

"Oh my god, Alice!" Bella squealed. "You look absolutely gorgeous!" She flung her arms around me into a big hug.

I giggled. "You think so?"

She nodded. "I knew you'd give Senator Cullen's son a chance."

I shook my head. "I agreed to dinner because he can be persuasive. I'm not really dating him."

"Yet."

I rolled my eyes at her now as I grabbed my sweater. "Why does everyone think Jazz and I are the perfect match?"

"Uh, because you _are,_ " Bella said simply. Then she raised an eyebrow at me. "And since when do you call him 'Jazz?'"

_Shit._

"Uh, since he asked me to."

That was a lie. I actually just started doing that the other day while talking to him through Facebook. He told me he liked the nickname, so I kept it up.

She gave me a once over. "Sure, Alice. You're totally not smitten."

Some people can see right through me.

When Jasper showed up, on time, I introduced them.

"My mother speaks highly of you," he said to Bella. She blushed.

_Maybe I can steer him her way._

My blood turned cold at that thought.

I didn't get it. I needed to push him away; needed him to get as far away from me as possible. I'm damaged goods. He can do so much better. So why was the thought of him actually leaving me making me sick?

Jasper couldn't take his eyes off me. "You're stunning," he said. I smiled.

"You look great too."

He really did. He had on a blue suit with a matching blue shirt. It made his already blue eyes bluer. His gorgeous hair was slightly disheveled; I figured there was a breeze out.

_Sex hair._

Bella smiled. "Well don't just stand there. You two love birds need to start your date."

I glared at her. She just laughed.

Jasper really was the sweetest man. He always stepped aside for me to go through doors and kept his hand on the small of my back. He made sure I didn't step in a puddle and he pulled my chair out when we arrived at the restaurant.

_You don't know how nice that feels. But I do._

He barely ordered his meal because he couldn't take his eyes off of me. Other times I would have felt uncomfortable, but he put me at ease.

I scanned the restaurant as our wine was poured.

"Fancy place."

He nodded. "My mother's favorite restaurant."

I took a sip of wine. "So your mother is the current senator?"

He nodded. "Yup. She loves her job."

"So you could have any woman you want. Why are you wasting time on me?"

He reached across the table and took my hand. "I am not wasting time on you, Alice," he said. His voice was low, but seductive. A shudder ran through me. "I don't pursue women I'm only mildly interested in."

His blue eyes were so intense. Emotions were swirling in them. The strongest one I saw was desire.

"So why me?"

He squeezed my hand. "Because you're my soulmate."

My jaw dropped. "What?"

He chuckled. "Alice, this may be hard for you to believe, given what's happened to you, but as soon as Rose sent me your picture, that was it. I was done for. Something clicked. It was as though I had been waiting for you all my life."

I swallowed. _How in the hell has this man not been snatched up?_

I smiled at him. "I don't know what to say."

He squeezed my hand again. "You don't have to say anything. I just want you to know that I have no intention of stopping my pursuit. Even if you push me away, I will come back. I won't leave until you order me away; if even then."

I nodded. While I would normally feel scared at that, he made it sound wonderful. I could feel the warmth spreading throughout my body.

Our meal arrived and we ate in silence for a while. But it wasn't uncomfortable; it was like being with your best friend. You don't have to talk all the time or fill the space. It was familiar.

He made me laugh again, several times actually. Once I almost snorted wine up my nose; that would have been attractive in a classy place like this.

After dinner, we went for a walk. The bright lights of Chicago shone as we hit Navy Pier.

"This is one of my favorite parts of the city," he said, holding my hand. "When I'm having a bad day, I come here and look out at the lake. The waves calm me."

I nodded. "I can understand why. It's peaceful."

"Yes."

We stood next to each other, just watching people, the lake, and everything around it. At one point he turned to me. His blue eyes had darkened. He pulled me close to him.

"Alice…."

I sucked in a breath. I didn't know if I was ready for this. His body pressed against mine, turning the warmth inside me on fire. I put a hand up and placed it on his chest. He covered it with his hand.

He glanced down at my lips and then back up to my eyes. "May I kiss you?"

_That's a first._

I nodded, entranced. There was a spell on us; there had to be. This couldn't feel this magical.

My heart was racing.

He leaned in slowly, giving me time to change my mind. A part of me was screaming but the bigger part of me was anticipating. He pressed his lips to mine.

And then _I_ was done for.

His kiss was like nothing I had ever experienced. It was warm and familiar yet new and hot. He pulled me even closer, if that was possible, and his right hand gently cupped the back of my neck. My other hand wound its way into his hair, eliciting a groan from him. A groan I loved.

"Alice," he said quietly. I smiled against his lips.

"Like that?"

His response was kissing me harder. His tongue sought entrance and I granted it. He groaned and tilted my head, giving him deeper access. Our tongues mingled in a fight for dominance. I gripped the lapel of his suit jacket as his hand gently stroked the skin at my neck. My body was on fire.

He pulled away to breathe and then kissed me again. I never wanted it to end.

When it finally did, he placed his forehead against mine. We both had our eyes closed. The beating of my heart was so loud I was convinced he heard it. His grip on me never loosened, but it wasn't like Riley. It wasn't possessive. Well, it was, but not in a bad way.

"You asked at the restaurant why you."

I nodded against his forehead.

"Because I knew you were it. You were what I've been searching to find. I had wondered why things didn't work out with Maria; I was so convinced it was me. But as soon as I met you, I knew that wasn't the case. We were destined, Alice."

I didn't know if I felt like that, but I didn't want to say anything or break the magical spell around us. I ran my hands through his gorgeous hair again, eliciting a shiver from him. I smirked.

"I came alive when I met you. I know that you're scared; I am too. But I am the real deal, Alice. I won't ever hurt you. Not physically, not emotionally. I can't. I don't have the strength to stay away from you."

He literally just turned me into goo. I felt his arms tighten around me because my knees gave out. He was actually holding me up. He pressed me against the railing for support.

"Can I tell you what I was feeling when I met you on that Wednesday in that café?"

I nodded. He swallowed.

"For the first time Alice, I felt hope."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really wasn't going to have Jasper kiss her this early, but it just came out that way. He already knows she's his soulmate. Will he convince her?
> 
> Thanks so much for reading!


	7. Chapter 7

The shrieking could be heard down in the lobby.

I rolled my eyes. "Rosalie, the neighbors are going to think I'm being murdered."

She was literally bouncing up and down with excitement. "I don't care, Alice. It's too exciting."

Bella smirked and then hid behind her wine glass when I glared at her.

The day after the date, I called Rosalie and Bella for a girls' night. I knew they would want to know what happened, and I really wanted advice on what to do.

_This is so different. I'm used to a pattern with guys. They take me out, woo me and then I see their true nature. Jasper has taken me out, yes, but this seems different. HE seems different._

I did not want to give myself hope.

I was still waiting for the other shoe to drop. Regardless of what Rose said, I still had doubt. Riley's family thought he wasn't capable of abuse and we saw how that turned out.

An image of him standing over me as I laid on the floor, a black eye and bloody nose flashed in my head. I closed my eyes and shivered.

Warm arms encircled me. I slowly opened my eyes to see Bella's chocolate brown ones. Rosalie had taken my hand and was stroking it gently.

"We don't have to talk about it Alice," she said quietly. "If this is too painful, Bella and I will stop right now."

I shook my head. I _wanted_ to talk about it. That's why I called them. I drew in a shaky breath.

"No, I'm okay," I said. "Just had a flashback of one of the many times Riley beat me."

Bella and Rosalie shared a glare.

"If you do decide to keep seeing Jasper, Alice, you will have to tell him." Bella's quiet voice soothed me. I smiled at her. She was still hugging me.

"I know. And I will. I'm just scared."

Rosalie squeezed my hand. "Scared of what, exactly?"

"I'm so used to shitty men. Riley wasn't the only abusive boyfriend I've had, but he was by far the worst. I literally thought I wouldn't survive. But I did, by running far away from my brother and creating a new identity." I stared straight ahead, fighting back tears. "But I know someday he'll find me. And he already told me he'd kill me."

Rosalie drew in a breath. "I can promise you, that won't happen. Jasper won't allow it. He will die first."

I shook my head. "I don't want him to do that. That's why I don't know if I can continue on with him. I don't want to put his life in danger because I have a death sentence."

"Jasper is a great guy," Bella piped up. "If he didn't want to be a part of it, he wouldn't have agreed to go out with you. Or kiss you," she added with a smirk. "I still want to hear that."

I chuckled. Some tears fell but I didn't wipe them away. I was enjoying the comfort of my friends. "If he is a decent guy, he'll come to his senses and leave me."

Rosalie shook her head. "He _is_ a decent guy, Al. And he _does_ have sense. He's found someone that completes him."

I looked at her. "How does he know that? We've been on technically one date, plus the coffee shop."

She sighed. "He knew from the minute he saw your picture. It was as though something triggered inside of him. You should have heard how many times he was bugging me about you."

I chuckled again. "Really?"

She smiled and nodded. Bella smiled at her too. "Oh god yes. It was actually pretty annoying. He stopped actually greeting me in texts. It was always 'did you talk to Alice?' 'How is your friend?' 'When do I meet that gorgeous woman?' He wouldn't shut up." She rolled her eyes dramatically and Bella and I laughed.

"He's the real deal Alice," Bella said. "Give him a chance."

I sucked in a breath. I didn't know if I could. I heard what my friends were saying; I wanted it to be true. I really liked Jasper. I really liked the time we spent together. I _really_ liked that kiss. It felt like something new, something exciting. I felt safe with him. I knew he was being cautious because he had an idea of what had happened, and I really appreciated that. But I also hope that he will be himself and not feel he has to walk on eggshells around me. My issues are my own. Maybe, _maybe_ I can learn to move past them.

"Okay, enough of the heavy," Rosalie said, releasing my hand. She reached for her wine glass. "Tell us about the kiss."

I laughed again, immediately put at ease. Bella released her hold on me and I wiped my tears away. I was with friends. I smiled at them. "Well, it was…good."

Rosalie rolled her eyes. " _How_ good?"

"Rosalie, that's your brother," Bella said.

"Fuck that," Rosalie replied. "For the next few minutes, I have no brother. He's just Jasper Cullen, hot history teacher." We all laughed at that.

I cleared my throat. I could still feel his lips on mine, how strong they were. How comforting. I loved being in his arms. He held me tightly but it wasn't scary. It was a possessive hold, as though he was making it known that I was his. But unlike Riley, I didn't feel uncomfortable. I felt wanted. Desired.

"It was the best kiss _ever._ It felt magical, really. He held me tightly, but not like in a possessive way. Well, possessive, but not a bad possessive. Anyway…."

Bella chuckled and stroked my back. "He has strong lips," I went on. " _Really_ strong. And I had my hand on his chest. I could feel the muscles in his chest even though he had layers on. His heart was pounding, as mine was." Rosalie was smiling and nodding. Bella sipped her wine. "He actually kissed me twice. The second time was so good my knees gave out. He had to hold me up against the railing."

Rosalie shrieked again. I smacked her arm. "Cut that out!"

She covered her mouth. "I'm sorry, but I'm so excited."

I laughed. "I know. Jasper is really hot."

"So are you going to go out with him again?" Bella asked. I sighed. "I don't know. I'm still scared."

Bella nodded. "That's completely understandable, Alice. And he knows you are. But he still wants you. I'm sure he'll give you all the time you need."

"Kissing me was pretty fast, though."

Rosalie shrugged. "He can get excited when it's something he wants."

I let my mind wander a moment. I thought of the handsome blonde man who was no doubt not thinking of me at the moment. He was probably with his students or out with another girl. My blood ran cold at that.

"He's probably out with another girl," I said, repeating my thoughts.

Rosalie looked me in the eyes. "Alice Brandon, I will tell you right now. Jasper is _not_ a player. He does _not_ date women he's only mildly interested in. He's only had one serious relationship, and that was Maria down in Texas. He was hurting at the time, but do you know what he said to me recently? Before he met you?"

I shook my head.

"He said that he always knew something was wrong. Something was amiss. He _thought_ he loved Maria, but he really didn't. Yes, he was hurt but he wasn't heartbroken. It was as though the universe was telling him Maria wasn't right for him."

I absorbed that information. My mind flittered back to last night and his words _"for the first time, Alice, I felt hope."_ I drew in a breath.

"He said something like that last night."

Bella raised an eyebrow. "Oh really?"

I nodded. "He said for the first time, he felt hope."

Another shriek from Rosalie. "Oh my god! This is great! He's found _the one_ , Alice."

I couldn't say anything. I didn't want her to think I didn't care. I did, I so did, but of course my first instinct was to still run. I knew I would still push him away. But now, a part of me hoped he would come back.

I looked between Rosalie and Bella. They were both smiling at me. I heard something about Jasper, but I couldn't make it out. My phone lit up with a text. I looked at it.

_Been thinking about you all day. Hope I didn't come on too strong. –J_

I showed it to Rosalie.

"Well write him back!"

I laughed.

_You definitely did not. I had a great time._

He replied.

_I'm glad. My goal is to make sure you have a great time. So how about the street fest tomorrow?_

Bella was reading it over my shoulder. "Say yes," she hissed. I rolled my eyes.

_Sounds good._

We all laughed. "Goof," Rosalie said.

_I hope I'm not being too forward, but I can't stop thinking about kissing you again._

"Ooooh," Rosalie said. I smacked her arm.

_You're not. I loved it. I would love to do it again._

Bella punched the air. I glared at her.

I chuckled.

_You should know, your sister and Bella are here. They saw this._

Rosalie snorted with laughter.

"Oh that's ladylike," Bella said through her own laugh.

_Good. Tell Bella 'hi' from me and my sister to mind her own business._

She scoffed at that. Bella laughed again.

_I'll text tomorrow. Sweet dreams, Alice._

I text him back a goodnight.

"Alice is gonna get some," Bella teased in a singsong voice.

I rolled my eyes. "Really Bella."

Rosalie laughed. "She's right. 'Alice is gonna get some.'"

Now we all laughed.

I was so glad I had girlfriends now. Riley never let me have friends. I couldn't do anything but be a servant to him. Working was not permitted. School was not permitted. If he let me be with anyone, it was someone he approved of. And even then, they were to report back to him on my behavior and if I acted remotely out of line, he would punish me. But now. I had freedom now. Freedom to do what I wanted. Be with whomever I wanted. It was still so strange to me.

Bella had returned with the wine bottle while Rosalie excused herself to the bathroom. "So how do you think he is in bed?"

I rolled my eyes. "Really Bella," I repeated.

She smirked. "It's an important thing, Alice." She tilted her head to the side. "I bet he's good. He definitely has the body and the stamina. I bet he starts slow and then increases until you're goo."

Rosalie sat back down. "Until who's goo?"

"Alice. Just thinking what Jasper is like in bed." She poured the wine.

"Ew. Okay, he _is_ my brother again."

We all laughed.

"Did know you were so obsessed with sex, Bella," I said, sipping my wine.

She blushed. "I _do_ tend to have an addiction when I'm dating a guy. It's funny. When I'm single, like now, I can go without it. But when I'm with a guy, it's like horny city for me."

I actually snorted wine up my nose I was laughing so hard at what she said.

"Slut," I said playfully. She shrugged.

"Lovable slut," she replied. Her brown eyes danced playfully.

She did make me think though. What would Jasper be like in bed? Riley was always so controlling. I never had any pleasure from him. Oh sure, he got off, part of his dominance thing. But never me. He didn't care. I didn't have to be turned on. I guess you could say that it was partially rape since he didn't always have permission. Well, he _thought_ he did.

_Riley can kiss my ass._

I bet Jazz was as Bella said. Starts off slow and then builds. I bet he does _everything_ right.

"Hello? Earth to Alice?" Rosalie said. I shook my head.

"Sorry."

"Betcha she was picturing Jasper naked," Bella said.

"I was not! Just how he was in bed!" I clomped my hand over my mouth. Rosalie raised an eyebrow, Bella raised her glass. They both laughed loudly.

"She is _so_ smitten," Rosalie said.

"I'm right here."

Bella nodded. "And we're glad for it. Now, to save Rosalie from any more torture about her brother's sex life, why don't we put on a movie?"

"Girls Gone Wild?" I suggested. Another round of laughter.

Girl talk forgotten, we settled into the movie. I placed one hand each in one of theirs. They both looked at me and smiled, giving my hands a squeeze. I had a home. I had a job. I had friends. I had a possible boyfriend, one who actually is decent.

I was happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Girl talk is always fun.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I do not own Twilight.

_This can't be real._

I pulled him closer to me as his right hand cupped my cheek. His lips moved over mine, tongue asking for entrance. I granted it and we danced lightly, fighting for dominance. I sighed into his mouth.

"Alice," he said softly.

"Yes?"

A beat of silence as his tongue battled mine. Then he withdrew it and bit my lip. "If you keep making those noises, I'm going to have a hard time stopping."

I giggled.

He smiled against me and kissed me again. This time, his right hand moved to the back of my neck and held me there, as though he was trying to get me as close as possible. His body was starting to tremble and I wrapped my arms around his neck.

He pulled away a few seconds later, resting his forehead on mine. "God, Alice," he croaked. "I swear I'm developing an addiction."

_He is so cute._

I smiled and pecked his lips. He continued to hold me, forehead against forehead, eyes closed. His breathing was beginning to slow down. I felt safe, content.

I also felt something against my leg.

I gasped. He chuckled.

"I was wondering when you would notice that."

_No way! Does he ACTUALLY want me that way?_

Yes, I had had that conversation with Rosalie and Bella yesterday, but I didn't truly think they were serious. But now….

"You…you…"

I couldn't get the words out.

Luckily, I didn't seem to need to. His breathing had regulated and he pulled his forehead away to look into my eyes. Those beautiful blue eyes of his.

"You seem surprised."

I nodded. "Really? You really want me…" I gestured to his pelvic area. "…like that?"

He rocked his hips into me, pressing against me. He was still rock hard. My jaw dropped.

"What do you think?"

I didn't know _what_ to think. But I was starting to like it.

Deciding to be bold, I placed my left hand over his clothed erection. He hissed and grabbed my hand.

"Uh uh," he said. I smirked.

"Why not?" I asked innocently. He nipped my lip.

"Because Alice. I may be a gentleman, but even I have my limit. And I don't want to push you before you are ready."

I smiled. "Thank you, I appreciate that."

He nodded and pulled away. I frowned at loss of contact. I enjoyed being in his arms. "So what did you and my sister and Bella talk about?" He turned and poured another glass of wine for both of us. I took mine and headed to the living room. He followed.

Setting my glass on the coffee table, I sat back and sighed. "Well, girl talk mostly. We talked about you. Rose wanted to know about our first kiss."

He sipped his wine and raised an eyebrow. "My _sister_ wanted to know how I kiss?"

"She said you weren't her brother for the next few minutes."

He threw back his head and laughed. "Okay, then."

I smiled. He placed his wine glass next to mine.

"Actually," I said, "it was very refreshing for me. I haven't had much chance to have girlfriends."

Jasper frowned. "That's not right."

I looked down at my hands. "I know." It came out quietly, almost a whisper.

We sat silently for a minute. I could feel his eyes burning into the top of my head. When I raised up to look at him, I saw sadness and desire. And something else I couldn't place.

"Jasper," I said as I reached for my wine. "I want to tell you some things about me."

He let out a breath. "Whatever you want to tell me, no pressure." He took my hand and free hand and kissed it.

_Here goes nothing._

I explained all about my dating life. How I went from one abusive relationship to the other. How Riley was the worst. I explained that I ended up with broken bones from him, along with a broken soul. I wanted Jasper to know the truth. He had to know the truth so he could make an informed decision to let me go.

The look in his blue eyes was frightening.

He didn't look like he was going to hurt me. No. He looked murderous though. As though he wanted to track down Riley and do to him what he did to me. That was sweet. I took his hand.

"Jasper?" I said softly.

He shook his head and closed his eyes. He pinched the bridge of his nose. "Alice, I'm sorry."

_Here we go,_ I thought. _He's bailing._

"Please note, I am not angry at you, not at all." He turned and stroked my cheek. "But I promise you, if I ever meet this Riley Biers, I _will_ kill him for what he did to you."

His voice was low. I knew he meant it. I squeezed his hand.

"Thank you," I said softly. "But I don't want that."

We sat in silence for another moment, me giving him time to calm down. He seemed like he did need it. I would continue squeezing his hand every so often letting him know that I was there.

"Alice," he said suddenly.

I looked at him.

"I would like to teach you how to shoot."

I frowned. "Shoot what? I've never been any good at billiards."

He chuckled. "No, I mean shoot a gun."

I gasped. It wasn't that I was opposed to it, but no one had ever offered to teach me. I knew if Riley had found out, he _would_ kill me.

"O-kay," I said quietly.

He nodded. "You need to know how to protect yourself. I have a feeling he will try and find you." He pulled out his phone. "I'm going to make a reservation at my gun range for Sunday, if you don't have to work."

"I'm free."

He smiled and dialed the number. I stared at him, my mind in shock.

_He's going to teach me to SHOOT? Wow. I never pegged him for a gun guy._

"It's all set," he said as he hung up. "We'll need to get you registered with a FOID card for the state of Illinois."

I frowned at him.

"FOID means Firearm Owner's Identification. It's required by the state."

I nodded slowly, processing the information.

Then he began typing into his phone.

I figured he was texting Rosalie so I gave him a minute. I reached for my wine again and sipped it slowly.

"Okay, that's done."

He turned to me.

"Alice, you know my mother is a senator, right?"

I nodded.

He smiled softly. "Good. Well, because of that, she has to have bodyguards with her. The whole family does, actually. Rosalie and I are used to them as we've been in this lifestyle since we were kids. Most of the time, we call our bodyguards off because we're self-conscious."

I nodded again. "I can understand that."

He sighed, looking directly into my eyes. "With your permission, I want to get you a bodyguard."

My jaw dropped. "What?" I said quietly.

"I know, it seems crazy. But I don't trust this Riley as far as I can throw him. And I don't want you blindsided one day when he shows up. I can put Sam on bodyguard duty for you."

I swallowed, my mouth suddenly dry. "But…but what if I want to go on a date with you and…and kiss?" I blushed at that.

"You can call him off. I did."

I looked at him. "He was going to come here?"

"He did."

My eyes grew wide. _What the hell?_

He saw my panic and explained. "He scoped the place out, as is his job. I knew you would be fine, but that _is_ why my mother pays him. So he checked the place out and I said I wanted to be with you alone. And he left."

My heart was racing. I couldn't believe it. The guy I was dating had a bodyguard. A bodyguard who probably followed us around on our date tonight, who probably saw us kissing….

And to be honest, I didn't really care.

I thought it was sweet that Jasper wanted to do that for me; no one ever has. He was actually putting my safety first.

"So," I said quietly. "So how will I know him?"

He laced his fingers with mine and then kissed the back of my hand. "I'll text you the information. There will be a code word that he will give you, that's how you'll know. He'll stay far enough behind to not arouse suspicion. And yes, you can call him off if you need." Jasper kissed my hand again. "But I hope you won't, Alice. At least not all the time. I know this seems obsessive, but I really am trying to protect you."

_I know._

"I know."

He smiled. Then he leaned over and kissed me again. I ran my fingers through his hair, making him groan. He pulled away.

"I warned you," he said but his eyes were kind.

I giggled. "I want to see how far you'll go."

He looked at me and his eyes changed. Literally changed in half a second. "Alice," he said. "As I stated, I am a gentleman but you don't want me to release the beast that's inside me."

I smiled. "Maybe I do." I looked him square in the eye, challenging him.

After a moment, he growled and grabbed me, pressing his lips to mine. He pushed me down on the couch, pinning me with his hips.

"How are you real?" he asked in between kisses.

"I could say the same of you." He placed kisses along my jaw line, leading to my neck. My eyes fluttered closed. I couldn't speak.

I ran my hands in his already messy hair, tugging lightly. He growled and began sucking hard on my neck. I moaned.

"Jas-Jasper…" I said.

He didn't stop what he was doing. God he felt amazing! His erection was back, pressing into the side of my leg. I rubbed against it to get some friction. He threw his head back and hissed.

"Alice," he said quickly. I repeated my action. He closed his eyes.

I smirked. My hand wound its way down and I covered the lump through the clothes. I squeezed lightly, earning a growl this time.

He moved his hand to mine to stop me.

"No," I said. He looked at me.

"I _want_ to touch you."

His blue eyes widened. But he didn't say no. He just braced himself on either side of me, hands digging into the cushions. I let my hand roam over him again, watching him close his eyes. His breathing grew ragged.

He lowered his head and pressed a kiss to my lips. I found my way to the waistline of his pants and stuck my hand inside, bypassing his boxers. I rested my hand against his cock. Skin on skin.

"Holy hell Alice!" He jerked but I held him in place. I began running my hand over his tip, watching him start to come undone on top of me. He was trembling again, and his eyes once again closed. His breathing was erratic.

"Is this working?" I teased. He growled. I grinned.

Slowly I made my way down his cock, gently teasing and massaging it. I felt powerful seeing his reactions to what I was doing. I still had a hard time believing this.

_Riley would force me to give him oral. I never had a choice._

_I have a choice now._

I continued my ministrations for another minute or two before Jasper did grab my hand and move it away. I pouted.

"Alice," he said breathlessly. "As much as I would _love_ to continue, and believe me, I would, we have to stop. I really don't want to wear sticky clothes home. And I'm about to."

I chuckled. "Okay then." I removed my hand. "But it was good?"

He kissed me again, long and slow. "So good I was about ten seconds away from a mess." He kissed my nose. "You didn't have to do that you know."

I smiled. "I know. But if I'm going to do this, have a relationship with you, then I need to. And I want to."

"That's what matters. As long as _you_ want to. I will never push you into anything you don't want."

"I know," I said quietly.

He nodded and sat up, climbing off of me. He stood and walked to the bathroom for a moment. I knew I had teased him enough tonight, so I just grabbed the bottle of wine and poured another glass.

When he returned, I flipped on the TV. "How about some Netflix?" He nodded and took a large swig of wine.

Maybe I could do it. Maybe I could begin again.


	9. Chapter 9

**Jasper**

I was so proud of her.

I stood behind her, watching her fire off round after round at the shooting range a few weeks later. Alice was a natural. She did miss the target sometimes, but that was to be expected.

"Wow," she said. "I can't believe how well I did." I approached from behind and placed a hand on the middle of her back.

"I hope you weren't imagining me," I said jokingly.

She laughed.

"Of course not."

We walked out of the range and out of the shop. She wanted to pay for her own gun so she was making monthly installments. Even though I said I would buy her one, she wanted to do this herself.

And I wasn't about to tell her no.

Driving back to my apartment, I reached out and took her hand. She squeezed it lightly. I was amazed that she hadn't tried to run. I figured she would, was expecting her to, but so far she hasn't. She has been amazing in every sense of the word.

And I am enjoying watching her blossom and come out of her shell more and more. She is beginning to realize that there are more than Riley Biers' out there.

I also couldn't believe how bold she was regarding sex. In just a few weeks! I expected it would be months before any contact. Not that I'm complaining, of course not. But I didn't want her to think that I was just in it for that. We could take as much time as was needed. Fine with me.

We pulled into the parking lot and hopped out of the car. I followed her up the stairs to my apartment. She scanned her eyes for Sam, my bodyguard. I didn't tell her that Sam had the day off.

After walking through the door, we slipped off our shoes. I went to the kitchen to make some tea. I figured she would want to relax a bit after her fun at the gun range.

I smiled at that. She really was a natural.

I brought the tea to her in the living room once it was ready. She smiled and patted the seat next to her. Then she reached for my laptop.

"Facebook?"

She nodded.

She had been checking on her brother, Edward. She had told me a little more about her past, mainly how she ran to keep him safe. I saw his picture and commented that they looked alike.

His current feed was mainly private but every so often, he had public posts. And they were mainly about her. About finding her. I squeezed her shoulder as she scrolled through his page.

A message popped up to her from Rosalie. I rolled my eyes. She shoved me.

Laughing, I turned on the TV. It was a typical lazy Saturday for us when she didn't have to work. And I knew with the summer coming, I would be spending most of it with her…at least I hoped so.

She snapped the computer shut and curled up next to me as we watched a rerun of _Orange is the new black._ Before long, her head grew heavy and I knew she was asleep.

Smiling, I picked her up and carried her to the bedroom, careful not to wake her. I laid her on the bed and wrapped the blankets around her.

I kissed her forehead.

I walked to the door and turned back. She looked so beautiful, so peaceful laying there. It was like she was meant to be there. In my bed. With me.

And if I have anything to say about it, she will be. Permanently.

* * *

I felt something heavy against my side. Slowly blinking my eyes open, I looked to my left. Alice was still sleeping.

I raised up on an elbow and looked at her. I couldn't help myself. Even though it was "creepy," it was one of the only times when she was truly at peace. And she deserved it.

A strand of hair fell in her face and I gently brushed it away. She still flinched at times when I reached out to touch her face, but her trust in me was incredible. I really could not believe how much she _did_ trust me in a few short weeks.

I thought about when she told me about her past relationships. About Riley. He really was the worst of them. I'm surprised she survived him, but I'm glad she did. I began to wonder if maybe fate was playing a role in it. In us.

She had told me about the broken bones, the cuts, the bruises. She explained the scars on her leg. And she didn't cry. She was so brave and so strong that she didn't cry. I held her and let her talk at her own pace. I had to hold her because she was the only thing calming me. My temper was raging. Not at her, of course. But at Riley mostly.

Oh he would pay.

I knew it was a matter of time before he found her. I just hoped it was far in the future.

That evening, we went to an art exhibit from a new museum in town. It felt good to get dressed up for a night on the town.

We walked around the museum, sampling champagne and hor'dourves as we were explained what the paintings meant. I personally never understood art but she absorbed it all. I picked up a brochure and told her she may want to look into art classes. She smiled at me and I gave her a chaste kiss.

Awhile later, I was looking at the brochure when I ran into her back. I apologized to her and then noticed she was ramrod straight.

"Alice?"

Her breathing was shallow. Her eyes wide. Terror in them. I frowned. What could have gotten her so worked up?

I followed her gaze. Standing by the door was a sandy-haired man about six foot in length. He wore a red jacket. And he was grinning manically at Alice.

_Riley._

I had seen his picture enough that I knew who he was. He kept his gaze on her and I felt her trembling. I wasn't about to let him get his hands on her.

I stepped in front of her, cutting off his gaze. Riley's eyes snapped to mine. I held his, narrowing my own.

_I dare you to come closer._

A timid hand was placed on my left bicep, but I didn't falter my gaze. He kept his with mine. I wanted him to know I wasn't playing.

Suddenly, he smiled at me. An evil smile. I narrowed my eyes even further. No way in hell was he getting out of here without knowing who I was.

The fact alarm bells were going off in my head did not register. I felt Alice's grip on my arm tighten but all I did was keep my gaze.

Finally, Riley dropped his and turned away. He walked out the door and didn't look back.

As soon as he was gone, I turned and pulled her into my arms. She was crying.

"Shhh, it's okay," I said quietly. "I have you."

The rest of the room was oblivious to what just went down.

She stayed pressed against me as she continued to cry. I let her have her time. When she started to recover, I suggested we leave. She agreed.

The museum was a short walk from my apartment so he headed out on foot. I kept my eyes scanning everywhere, just looking for that bastard. I held her hand tightly.

When we got to home, I locked all the doors and set the alarm. Sam was already on his way. I had sent him an alert on the walk.

She sat at the table, not saying anything. I sat across from her and took her hands.

"Alice," I began. She shook her head.

"No."

I raised an eyebrow.

"I can't put you in danger," she said, meeting my eyes. "I have to end this."

Fear and pain coursed through me. I knew things would be rough but I was definitely okay with it. My feelings for her were that strong.

"No you don't."

She nodded. "He's seen you. God only knows what he'll do. I have to end it before he hurts you. Or worse."

I squeezed her hands. "No, Alice." My voice was firm. "I'm in this. I knew when we first started dating that you had a rough past. I didn't care. I cared, but I didn't care. It wasn't going to stop me from being with you. And neither will that son of a bitch."

Her brown eyes were wide with fear. I slowly reached out to stroke her check. She flinched, as always, but didn't move away.

"Alice, you are my life now."

She leaned into my touch.

"I won't let him get to you. Sam is on his way, we are putting you on twenty-four hour security. Tomorrow we will pay off the rest of the gun and you will continue lessons. You will be escorted everywhere. If I can't do it, Sam will."

She started to shake her head. "Please, Alice. I'm trying to keep you safe."

She lowered her eyes and looked at me. Then she nodded.

I will keep her safe if it's the last thing I do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dun, dun dun. Riley has seen Jasper. That can't be good, can it?
> 
> Thanks so much for reading. Next chapter things get sort of steamy. ;)


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A bit of smut. Alice is gaining confidence.

Jasper didn't know Riley. He didn't know how vicious he would become. I did; I knew. I always knew he would find me. And now that he's in Chicago, it was only a matter of time.

Jasper had been certain Riley hadn't followed us from the museum. He had scanned the streets, the dark alleys, anywhere someone could lurk. No one was there. I hoped beyond hope that Riley didn't know where I lived.

So now I had security on me. Which I didn't want. But Jasper insisted. He really was wonderful. I told him I had to let him go; had to break things off. I told him that Riley will hurt or kill him if he stays. But Jasper was stubborn. He said he was staying. He doesn't know my ex.

"And your ex doesn't know Jasper," Rosalie said over the phone.

I sighed. Rose had called as soon as Jasper texted her. He had stayed the night to keep me safe and was currently in the shower.

"Rosalie," I said as I opened the bedroom curtains. "I've already put him in danger. And probably you too. I can't stand the thought something may happen."

I could hear her shake her head. "Jasper is there because he wants to be there. Believe me, Alice, he's not going anywhere."

"And if he dies?"

There was a pause. "He won't."

I smiled.

"Thanks, Rose."

I heard the water shut off and hung up the phone. A minute later, Jasper came out of the shower, towel low on his hips. His tanned, toned body was still wet and drops fell from his hair.

He was beautiful.

He looked at me and smirked. "See something you like?" he winked.

I shook my head to clear it. "Sorry."

He chuckled and wandered over. "Don't apologize," he said. "I'm glad that you're enjoying the view." He pulled me to him and then whispered in my ear. "Believe me, Alice, I've had fantasies about you."

My heartrate kicked up. "Oh?" I said, trying to remain calm.

His left hand stroked my right cheek. "Oh yes. Had one in the shower."

I smiled and leaned into his touch. "What happened?" I felt my breathing hitch as I looked into his beautiful blue eyes. They had darkened, arousal evident.

Pulling me closer, I could feel him against my leg. "I fantasized that I gave you three intense orgasms, all from my tongue."

I shivered. His dick grew impossibly harder against my leg. I placed my hand over it and he let out a hiss. "Yeah?" I narrowed my eyes.

He pulled my head towards him. "Yeah," he said as he kissed me hard. It wasn't like Riley. It wasn't forceful. It was want, desire. I knew. I wrapped my arms around his neck as he pulled me impossibly close. I rubbed myself against the thin fabric of the towel, providing friction. He pulled away with a hiss.

_God bless terrycloth._

I smirked at him. Before I knew it, I was lying on the bed with him hovering over me. His tongue was lapping up every part of skin it could find. I wound my hands into his hair.

"Jasper," I breathed. "I need you."

He growled. "Whatever you desire." He kissed me again, firmer this time. My hand left his hair and traveled down his body to the top of the towel. Pulling back to look at him, I undid the loop and the towel fell away. I reached for him.

He sucked in a breath. "Not fair," he said. "You're dressed."

Sitting up, him following my movements, I whipped my shirt off. He grabbed my sweatpants and pulled them down, flinging them over his shoulder. I took a moment to actually look at him.

_Holy shit._

He was big. I've never seen a guy like that before. My faced flushed and I looked back up at him.

"Nervous?"

I nodded. He chuckled and lowered his head to kiss my neck. "Tell you what," he said in a low voice. "You call the shots. You tell me what you want and I'll do it. We don't have to have sex if you're not ready."

I let out a breath at that. God, I wanted him. But I also wanted to wait a bit longer for the actual event. That didn't mean we couldn't do other things, right?

Riley had me so fucked up in the head.

My hand encircled his dick. I began stroking it up and down. His eyes closed and he dropped his forehead against mine.

"Alice," he said quietly.

I shushed him and picked up the pace. He began sucking on my neck, hard enough that he left a mark. I could hardly care. I loved the idea of _him_ marking me.

His breathing became shallow and his movements faltered. He grabbed my hand and pulled it away.

"I want to make _you_ feel good Alice," he said, voice strained. "This was supposed to be what you want."

"And I want to make you come undone."

He dropped his head. "Alice," he said.

I shushed him and moved my hand back to his already engorged dick. "Please. I've never wanted to pleasure a guy before. But I do now."

His eyes enlarged at that but he said nothing. I began stroking him faster, switching my movements. He stood up so I could get a better angle.

Then I placed my mouth on him.

"God!" he said as his hips thrusted towards me. I smirked and looked up at him. His eyes were wide with surprise. I sucked on the tip while continuing to stroke his shaft.

The noises that came out of him were inhuman. I loved it.

For the first time, I was taking control in the bedroom. I decided what would be done. He gave me free reign. Riley had always forced my head down to suck him off and _never_ repaid the favor. He would forcefully grab my hair and move my mouth up and down his dick. I never was able to do it at a pace I wanted. Because I didn't want to. Not with him. Never with him.

I wanted to now.

Jasper's hand gently stroked my hair, moaning my name. He didn't force anything on me. I opened wider so I could take more of him in. I felt him almost touch the back of my throat.

"Alice," he hissed. I had learned from Riley how to take a guy's dick as far as I could without tripping the gag reflex. I slowly pulled back, sucking on the tip before slowly advancing on Jasper's dick again.

"My god," he whispered. I glanced up at him. The look in his eyes was something I couldn't identify.

"You're beautiful," he said honestly.

I believed him.

In response, I cupped his balls. He threw his head back as more pleasure coursed through him.

"Alice," he said again.

I smiled.

I was doing this. I was pleasuring him. I was making him come undone. Me. Broken, abused me. I mentally high-fived myself.

As a control method, Riley never came in my mouth. He always landed on my face. He said that I didn't deserve to taste his seed and that I needed to wear it as punishment. He never let me wash up afterwards. I always had to walk around with his cum on my face for an hour.

_Asshole._

I felt Jasper trembling. His balls hardened and his breathing slowed. I knew what that meant.

"Alice," he said brokenly as he removed his hand from my head. "Stop," he said quietly.

I looked up at him. I could tell he didn't want me to stop. His body was reacting, he was close.

"I don't want to force you to do anything you don't…oh god." He shook as though trying to fight it off. I hollowed my cheeks and took him in further. "I'm gonna come Alice!"

I hummed in response. He looked into my eyes and saw that I was saying yes. That I wanted it. It was all he needed. I felt his orgasm rip through him as thick seed plowed down my throat. Incoherent noises erupted from him as I kept pumping him, feeling his seed on my tongue. I was over the moon that I did that to him. Ribbons and ribbons of cum spurted down my throat. It had a citrusy taste to it.

As he came down, he placed his hands on my shoulders. I lapped up everything and then slowly pulled him out. He whined at the loss of contact. I looked up at him and smiled.

"Was that alright?"

He looked into my eyes, spent. He leaned down and kissed me gently, running his tongue over my mouth to lap some of himself up.

"You just gave me the most mind-blowing orgasm ever."

I smiled. He sat next to me on the bed. Laying back on the mattress, I followed him.

"Really?" I smiled.

He closed his eyes. "I'm being completely honest." He remained quiet for a few minutes as his breathing regulated. "You did not have to do that Alice."

"I know I didn't _have_ to."

He opened his eyes and looked at me, his beautiful blue eyes once again their rightful color.

"I _wanted_ to."

He pulled my face towards his and kissed me. I stroked his cheek, feeling his stubble.

"All the times I was with Riley, it was never _my_ choice," I told him. I placed a hand on his chest as his hand stroked the back of my neck. "He always forced me to do things. He never came in my mouth. He would always spurt on my face and make me wear it for an hour after."

"That asshole."

I nodded. "I became mechanical, like a machine. I felt disconnected. I wasn't really there." Taking a breath, I continued. "But I was just now. That was me. You spurned me on. I wanted to see how else I could make you come undone."

He smiled. "I'm glad you felt safe enough to do so."

"Me too."

He placed a hand over his eyes. "I need a few more minutes. That orgasm really spent me."

I chuckled. "Take your time. I'm going to make us some tea."

I stood up and turned. He grabbed my hand. "Don't you want reciprocation?"

"Maybe next time," I winked at him. I truly had my pleasure at watching him coming undone. Knowing _I_ had done it.

I grabbed my robe and headed to the kitchen, putting the kettle on for tea. I smiled to myself. Ever since meeting Jasper, my life has been beginning.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

The holidays were quickly approaching. There hadn't been any sightings of Riley, though not for lack of trying. I still kept my guard up. I still had security following me, though not all the time now. Usually just at night.

Jasper stayed over a lot. I couldn't believe how much I had fallen for him. I had tried a few more times to push him away and true to his word, he was stubborn. Damn him. One time I left for a weekend to clear my head and get some space. When I returned, Bella told me that he had been bunking with her ("completely innocent, Al," she said. "I _swear!_ ") and he was waiting for me. He hadn't shaved all weekend. He had a nice stubble going on and wow, did it make him look hot.

"How many times?" he asked me that night. "How many times do you need me to prove to you that I am _not_ going anywhere?" He pulled me to him. "Tell me the number and I will match it by two." He kissed me gently. "I am here, Alice. I'm not going anywhere until you order me away." He kissed my forehead. "Not even then."

So yes, Jasper was still around. Half of his things were in my apartment as he usually came to it when he was off of work. As it was the fall going on winter, he didn't have coaching. But he still would go over plans and executions of what he wanted done with the soccer team.

Next weekend was the chess tournament. His team had been killing themselves to get there. They were good, but under Jasper's leadership, they were great. He had taken a mediocre team and turned them around. I was so proud.

I couldn't wait to be there to cheer him on. I found chess to be kind of boring, but if he wanted me there, I would be there.

"You are so smitten," Bella said to me.

"I am not!"

She laughed. We were hanging out at her apartment. She had promised to make both of us dinner since Jasper had been busy with the chess tournament. It didn't give him a lot of time with me but he _did_ make it meaningful.

I glared at her. "Okay, maybe I am."

She nodded. "And the same with him. He's head over heels, Al."

I sighed. "I wish he wasn't. I'm getting better, but I still think he can do better than a broken, abused pixie."

She shook her head and handed me a bottle of water. "You don't see yourself clearly. Yes you had a shitty past, but so did he from what you've told me. You both had grown from that. And you have made each other better."

I sighed and took a sip of water. "He has helped my confidence. Did I tell you what I did to him yesterday?"

"No," Bella said with a grin. She plopped in her chair. "Spill and do _not_ leave out details."

I laughed. Bella wasn't promiscuous anymore but she still enjoyed talking about sex. For me, since I had such a rough time before, it was hard to divulge information. But Bella has a way of bringing it out.

"So, he was writing up lesson plans on his laptop. I actually crawled under the table and sucked him off from there!"

She choked on her water. "Wow, did _not_ see that coming."

I smiled. "Yeah he was like 'wha-what are you-what are you doing, Alice?' I told him to relax and enjoy."

"And I'm guessing he did?"

I nodded and my smile grew wider. "Is it bad that he couldn't walk after?"

Bella put her water down and looked at me seriously. "Alice, it is not bad. You made him come undone. That is great! And _you_ took the initiative. _You_ did it all by yourself."

I nodded again. "He's been wanting to reciprocate but every time I tell him no."

I heard a noise in the hallway and then footsteps. I figured he had made it to my apartment and would drop his stuff off and change before coming to Bella's.

"Why?"

"That part still scares me. With him, it's not mechanical. But Riley abused me so much that I worry if he sees me, _all_ of me, he will change his mind."

Bella moved from her chair to the couch and wrapped her arms around me. "That will not happen Alice. I am serious when I say that boy is head over heels. He will have no judgment."

There was a knock at the door. She stood up to answer it. "Remember that," she said.

"Hey Bella!" Jasper drawled after she opened the door.

I smiled. I _loved_ that Texas accent of his. Even though he wasn't a native, he fit it so well.

He came into the living room, holding a water bottle. He smiled when he saw me and sat down.

"Hello, gorgeous."

I blushed and kissed him. "Hello yourself." I looked into his blue eyes.

_So fucked._

The next few hours passed quickly. Bella is a hell of a cook. She made a ton of spaghetti and sent us home with leftovers. I had briefly considered sending her my brother's way, if I ever got to speak to him again.

After putting the leftovers in the fridge, I sat by him on the couch. He reached for my legs and began gently massaging my feet.

"What are you thinking about?" I asked him.

"You."

"Oh?" I said with a smile.

He nodded. "I am so far gone on you, Alice. You have _no_ idea how much. You telling me you're coming to the chess tournament just made my day. I know it's nothing to you, but it means a lot to me." His gorgeous blue eyes darkened. "Maria was never interested in anything I did."

I stroked his left hand as he stilled his movements. "I'm so sorry, Jasper. Couples should be supportive of each other."

He nodded. "It was just another sign we weren't compatible. I would always do what _she_ wanted to do, but she couldn't be bothered when it came to me." He sighed.

"Good thing I'm here now."

He smiled and gently squeezed my foot. "Damn right."

We fell into a comfortable silence as I turned the television on. Next thing I knew, I was lying in my bed. It was dark.

"Jasper?" No answer. I turned a light on. He wasn't there. I heard noises so I ventured into the rest of the apartment.

He was sitting at the table again, typing away. I smiled at him and leaned against the doorframe.

He glanced up and jumped. "Jesus Alice!"

I chuckled. "Sorry."

He nodded. I started walking to him and he ceased his typing. I glanced at the screen after giving him a kiss.

"Whatcha working on?"

He pointed at the screen. "Questions for the final."

"Fun!" I joked. He laughed. I wrapped my arms around his neck and gave him a quick squeeze.

His messenger lit up at the bottom of the screen. I pointed at it.

"Better get that."

He turned to place a second kiss on my lips. "It can wait." He kissed me deeply. I turned and straddled his lap, computer forgotten.

We just sat and made out for a bit there at the table, neither of us making an attempt to push further. But it was so much fun just kissing him. His strong lips were dominating yet timid. He would kiss me for a bit and then move to my neck, knowing that is my weak spot. I ran a hand through his hair.

He groaned. I could feel him harden even more beneath me. I thrusted my hips towards him.

Jasper hissed and threw his head back. I giggled.

"No fair."

I kissed him again. When it became heated, I pulled back. I knew we both needed sleep. I gently pushed him away and stood up.

"Want a beer?"

He glanced at the clock on the laptop. "No, I'm actually heading to bed here shortly. I was hoping I wouldn't wake you."

"I was a bit worried when I woke up alone."

He turned to me and placed a gentle kiss on my lips. "I'm sorry. Give me five minutes to wrap this up."

I smiled and stood up. He watched me as I left the kitchen and headed back to bed.

Prompt as ever, he joined me in five minutes. He wrapped his arms around me, pulling me close. He muttered something I couldn't make out.

"What?"

He breathed me in. "Not important now."

I just shrugged and fell into a deep sleep. He stroked my cheek.

"I can't wait to tell you those words, Alice," he said quietly. "Soon, very soon."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who is Jasper communicating with?
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These next two chapters are all about Alice meeting the Cullen clan and learning that she actually has a place with them.

We were in the car, heading to his family's cabin in the woods for Christmas. I was extremely nervous; what if his parents didn't like me? He was from a prestigious family, his father is a doctor and his mother is a senator! What if they laugh at me? Tell Jasper he can do better (they'd be right)? What if they throw me out into the snow?

Jasper reached over and took my hand. "Stop worrying Al," he said. "I promise, they will _love_ you."

I sighed and squeezed his hand in mine. I turned and looked out the window. The woods were so pretty with the snow covering it. According to the weather, fresh snow was to fall on Christmas Eve and continue into Christmas Day. A white Christmas. In a home. Surrounded with love.

I had asked if Bella could come with us. Although we had grown close I still didn't know much about her family. Jasper had immediately said yes, but Bella declined. She told me that she _was_ going to see her father and wanted me to have time with the Cullen family.

And that scared me.

Once again, I was feeling like I was broken. I'm getting better at this, Jasper has really helped me come out of my shell. But around new people, people who are important, I retreat. I know that I'll have Jasper and Rosalie watching my back, but I still couldn't get over this feeling.

"Rosalie mention him to you?" Jasper asked me, referring to his sister's new boyfriend. I turned and looked at his beautiful profile.

"No," I said. "Just that they met each other in college and he recently returned to town. Apparently they had been face chatting for a while and recently met again in person."

"Hmmm," was Jasper's reply. I smiled.

I liked that he was a protective brother. He reminded me of Edward in that sense.

_Edward….._

I wondered what he would be doing this Christmas; the first Christmas without me. I hoped he wouldn't be alone. Once again, I had considered reaching out but couldn't bring myself to actually do it yet. Perhaps someday.

I was so lost in my thoughts about my brother that I didn't notice when we pulled up. He parked the car and turned to me. I glanced at the house. A beautiful cabin with holly and ivy and wreaths adorned it. I saw lights already on and a fire going. Then a tall blond man and a woman with caramel colored hair emerged. They waved.

"Ready?"

No. I wanted to run. I wanted to run far away and hide. How was I going to make it through Christmas here?

Jasper had had a plan. We arrive on December 22nd for dinner and then have all of the 23rd and 24th to prepare for Christmas. Then the holiday and what his mother calls "post-holiday blues." He had planned to have us return to the city on December 27th. Although on winter break at Northwestern, he needed to work on some coaching plans for both the soccer and the award-winning chess team. Then we would ring in the New Year before getting back to life starting in January. He wanted to spend every minute with me that he could. And for the first time, I wanted that too.

Jasper saw my hesitation and gently stroked my cheek. "It'll be okay," he said quietly. "I'm here and Rosalie will be here. You have us as your rocks."

I nodded and undid my seat belt. I turned to him and smiled, feeling some confidence returning. He smiled back and opened the car door.

Once outside the vehicle, we walked to the front stoop. His parents both wore huge grins on their faces. I noticed their clothing; Carlisle in a red flannel shirt and jeans and Esme in a dark hoodie with leggings. They so did not look like the power couple I had seen pictures of. They looked like normal people.

Esme came down the stairs and pulled me into a hug. I froze for a second before putting my arms around her.

"I am so happy to meet you," she said warmly. "My son talks of nothing but you." She pulled back. Her brown eyes were kind.

"Thank you Senator Cullen," I said quietly. She shook her head.

"Please, call me Esme." She gestured to the blond man. "And Carlisle too. We hate formal titles but put up with them for our jobs. At home though, we insist on our names."

I chuckled. "I can understand, Esme."

She smiled.

"Jasper told us just some basic information," Carlisle popped in, wrapping his left arm around his wife. "But know this, you do not have to be afraid to be yourself around us, Alice. Don't be scared. We are all family here." He smiled, reminding me of where Jasper gets his.

Jasper put _his_ arm around me and I leaned against him for comfort. Esme smiled at us. "Please come in."

We walked inside the cabin. It was as though they found some magical portal to Christmas. The entire place was gorgeous. Wreaths on every door, lights twinkling, a huge Christmas tree in the living room and smells of Christmas cookies wafting through. I never wanted to leave it.

"Your cabin is gorgeous," I said in awe. Esme and Carlisle smiled.

"Thank you," she said. She gently took my elbow and led me to the grand staircase where it was elaborately decorated with garland and tinsel. There were even lights. "You and Jasper take some time to get settled and then we would like to get to know you a bit, if that's okay?" Her eyes continued to be kind. They were warm and welcoming. I found myself being drawn into them.

I nodded.

We ascended the staircase and entered our room. Again, more Christmas including a holiday bed set. I sat down on the bed and smiled. Jasper looked at me.

"You okay?" he asked. I nodded.

"Yeah," I said. "I'm so sorry, it's just overwhelming."

He sat next to me and pulled me to him. I laid my head on his shoulder. "I know, but you're doing great. I can tell my parents love you already. They're very astute when it comes to people. They have to be, given their careers. If my mother didn't like you, she would not have hugged you. She wouldn't want to know anything about you."

I smiled. "I'm glad she does. But I'm not sure what I want to share. Will you help me?"

He gently lifted my head with his fingers under my chin. "Of course I will Alice. I'll do anything you want." He stared into my eyes for a moment, his blue ones reflecting tenderness and something I couldn't identify. "If you want to go, we'll go. I'm not forcing you into anything."

I shook my head. "No, I _do_ want to be here. Just give me a bit of time."

Jasper smiled. "Take whatever time you need. I'll always be here, Alice." He pressed his lips to mine. It felt different, like it was a promise.

I kissed him back, letting him know I accept his promise.

* * *

Jasper was right; his whole family was incredibly welcoming.

I knew Rosalie was but his parents still surprised me. Even after two days of being here, they have not tired of me yet. They ask me questions but not enough to be invasive. Esme loves to laugh and it was infectious. We spent time together shopping, baking cookies and just chatting. I began to wish she was my mother.

And true to Jasper's word, they watched a bunch of Christmas movies. I saw Jasper's secret smile when Esme turned on the Hallmark channel for some family-friendly films. It didn't take long before I was engrossed in their world. How I had never paid attention to these movies before was beyond me.

Rosalie had brought her new beau with her, a man named Emmett McCarty. He worked as a police officer in one of the Chicago suburbs. He was a big man with black hair and blue eyes. And, like the theme of this trip, kind. He pulled me into a big bear hug as soon as he saw me.

But I could see that he was head over heels for Rosalie. He always sought her out and when the two of us went off for girl time, he would literally count the minutes before she returned. And she was kind and sweet to him, feeding him Christmas cookies and sitting on his lap.

I couldn't believe it. I actually felt like I had a family. We all got along smoothly; no awkwardness at all. I really found myself loosening up and opening up.

That evening, I descended the stairs and heard voices. Esme and Jasper.

"I see it too, Jasper. And I'm thrilled. Alice is perfect for you."

I paused on the stairs at my name.

He sighed. "I know that she still needs time, and I'm willing to give her whatever she wants. But now I don't know if I can go through with it. What if it scares her?"

I pulled myself a little closer to the voices. _What if what scares me?_

"I've seen enough of her that yes, it might. But she'll come around. You've said so yourself, she's been like a butterfly emerging from a cocoon. She's the one, Jasper. Trust me."

A pause. The Texas in his voice came out. "I hope so. I've been aching to tell her for some time now that I love her."

I froze. My breathing quickened. _Jasper loves me?!_

A warmth flowed through me. Instead of ice and fear, I felt happiness for the first time. I had always thought that love meant destruction; that it breaks, and burns, and ends. That it wasn't any good. But this was different. Jasper loved me. Even with all my issues, all my insecurities, he loved me. I grinned from ear to ear.

Slowly standing up from my spot on the stairs, I finished the last two steps. I turned and entered the room I heard them in.

Esme smiled and walked over to the coffee table, pointing to a mug of hot chocolate waiting for me. Jasper turned, his eyes wide.

"Alice," he said slowly, afraid he had been caught.

I decided to play with him a bit. I was giddy.

"Yes?" I asked innocently.

He smiled weakly. "Did you just arrive?"

I shrugged and saw his eyebrows raise. Then I pressed my lips to his gently and felt him sigh against mine. Then we touched foreheads.

"I love you as well," I whispered.

His eyes flew to mine. He smiled and pulled back slowly.

"Really?" he asked. I nodded. He took my hand and kissed it. "I'm sorry you heard it that way."

I shrugged. "I'm just glad I heard it."

"I'll say it again, Alice. Multiple times. Every day. I love you." He squeezed my hand.

"And I love you." I leaned in and kissed him again, tender this time. Full of hope and promise.

And love.

We stared into each other's eyes for a bit until Emmett hollered for us to join them for game night. Chuckling, we began to walk into the room.

A knock at the front door startled me. Jasper did not look phased. He glanced at the door and then at me.

"Al," he said. "Would you please get that? It's one of your Christmas presents." Then he turned and walked into the living room for game night.

Slowly nodding, I made my way to the door. I was in a daze, so it didn't occur to me to peek out the window and see who it was. A Christmas present? Who would be here on Christmas Eve?

I opened the door and froze. He stood there, snow on his hair with a red scarf peeking out of his pea coat. There was a suitcase by his side. He smiled when he saw me.

"Hi Alice. I've missed you so much."

Edward.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise! Hope you liked it. Feel free to leave a note.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Smut ensues in this chapter. Enjoy!

I still couldn't believe it. My head was in a daze. Even after Jasper's confession, seeing my brother in the flesh still felt like a dream. Even when I hugged him, I still felt like he was going to disappear.

Jasper had explained everything. That he had reached out to Edward via Facebook one day after seeing me look at his page. The two of them started chatting. Edward was hesitant of course at first. Who wouldn't be? Some random guy from Chicago saying he knew his sister? But Jasper showed him a picture of us and Edward wanted to know more.

Jazz told him that he wanted to invite him to the family Christmas so that we could be together. Edward immediately began booking a plane ticket. He told me that, if it wasn't too much trouble, he wanted to move in with me temporarily. He had given up his apartment in Seattle. I couldn't believe he just dropped everything to fly halfway across the country for me.

"You're my sister," was his reply. "I love you and want to protect you."

And Jasper agreed.

So the entire Cullen family was in on the secret that Edward would show up for Christmas. Esme and Carlisle had done a wonderful job of hiding Edward's presents until he actually showed up.

Yes, presents. For me as well. I told them they didn't have to, but as Jazz has told me multiple times, his parents are stubborn.

I was falling in love with them as well.

We all ate dinner that night. Edward was famished, having skipped the plane food. He had two full helpings of spaghetti. Esme laughed and tousled his hair, asking if she could trade him for Jasper. Jasper rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, love you too mom."

I laughed.

Rosalie and I chatted some time later. I asked her some questions about Emmett and she started in on Edward.

"Your brother's hot," she said, looking him over.

I rolled my eyes.

"I guess," I said. "I mean, he's my brother so I don't see it. Like how you don't see it with Jazz."

She nodded and sipped her wine. "I've been thinking that maybe we should set him up with Bella."

I glanced at her. She shrugged.

"Why not? You said he hasn't had a relationship for a while. And she's been hinting to get back in the game. They would be good for each other."

Rosalie was right, they would. But I had _just_ gotten my brother back, I wanted some time with him first.

I looked over at Jasper. He and Emmett were listening to some story Edward was telling. Not for the first time, my libido spiked at seeing him. This has been happening more and more. I had planned on giving myself to Jasper as a Christmas present anyway and after Edward, it was definitely deserved.

Jazz was definitely surprised but happy when I pounced on him in our room later that night. Our kisses quickly became heated as I undid his shirt. We had fooled around of course, but nothing this massive. I knew there was no going back from this.

"Jasper," I said weakly as he kissed my neck, "make love to me."

He froze beneath me and pulled me back slightly to look into my eyes. He was making sure it was what _I_ wanted. I loved that about him; he always put me first. So much so that he had been ignoring his need. I wanted to change that. After all, isn't a relationship a partnership?

Looking into his crystal blue eyes, I spoke. "I'm serious Jasper. I was planning on this. One of your Christmas presents. I wanted to give myself to you."

He smiled softly.

"Please don't think you're taking advantage Jazz. I _know_ you've denied yourself a few times when we've made out and I don't want you to do that." I ran my hand down his pants and he hissed. "Let's make this official. Make me yours."

He rolled us over so he was on top of me. He kissed me hard and then moved to my jawline and down to my neck. I ran my hands over his bare back and pushed on his jeans, telling him to take them off.

He complied and returned to me, making quick work of my clothes. My bra went somewhere where I'm guessing Esme will find it the next time she cleans the room. But I didn't care.

He was so tender, so gentle. I almost came from his ministrations on my breasts alone. I moved my hands down to his boxers and cupped his erection. He hissed again.

"Jazz," I said softly as I pushed them down, watching his dick spring free. I grabbed it and began stroking it. He dropped his head as his eyes closed. I grinned.

I could tell he was about to come undone when he moved my hand. He put it up on the pillow and told me it was my turn. I pouted a bit until he descended between my legs and took a long swipe with his tongue.

I couldn't believe the pleasure that coursed through me. Riley had never done this. I had to, of course, give him oral but he never reciprocated. And he was always rough when he entered me. One time, he tore my lining because I wasn't ready. I never was. And he never used any lubricant or anything. Sex with Riley was never fun or enjoyable. Always about control.

But now, oh god. What Jasper was doing felt incredible. I wound my hand in his blond hair as my moans increased.

"God Alice," he said as he took another swipe. "You taste divine." He began sucking on my clit and I literally saw stars.

Needless to say, it didn't take me long to come from that. I needed a moment to return to Earth and as I did, I kissed him deeply. Then I told him I was ready.

As I had prepared for this, I also had hidden condoms in my bag. I really didn't want him to use one as I was covered, but I knew he would feel better about it. At least until we both got checked. Last thing I wanted to do was give him something because of Riley.

He lined himself up and looked me in the eye, verifying I really was okay. I nodded, and he started pushing himself in. I arched my back to take his length (holy hell!) and he froze about halfway in.

"You okay?" he asked worriedly. I nodded. He pushed a little more.

Soon he was completely sheathed in me. He paused and closed his eyes. I smiled, I knew he was fighting himself. When he opened his eyes, I gave him permission to move.

He slowly pulled out and then back in, each movement creating ecstasy inside my body. I began realizing that sex _could_ be beautiful and magical, especially when it's with someone you truly love. I ran my hands down over his ass as I felt his cheeks dip deeper and then retract. It was glorious.

Wrapping my legs around him, he increased his pace. I met each thrust with my hips and we quickly found our rhythm. A few times he had to stop briefly and when he did, I kissed him gently.

It had been awhile for him too.

I never wanted this to end. Jasper felt incredible, feeling him against my walls. His breathing was labored and I began sucking on his neck.

The pace increased dramatically as the pleasure coursed through us. We were both getting close. He reached down and started rubbing my clit while slamming into me.

I saw white.

Literally. My orgasm ripped through me so hard that all I saw was white. I clenched my walls around him as he continued to pound into me. I gripped his arms as I rode through the orgasm, crying out his name.

As I came down, his thrusts became erratic. His eyes looked like a man possessed. It was so fucking sexy. I reached my hand down and stroked his balls, feeling him cry out as his orgasm hit. I felt him twitch inside me and the condom was filled with his seed.

Collapsing against me, we laid like that for a bit as we tried to catch our breaths. Then he pulled out and threw the condom in the trash. I snuggled in his arms.

"That was the most beautiful thing ever," I told him.

"It truly was," he replied, his Texas accent coming through. I kissed his chest.

"I love you, Jasper Cullen."

He turned and kissed my head. "And I love you, Alice Brandon." He pulled me closer to him. "Always."

* * *

Christmas had been so fun. Esme let us have cookies for breakfast. Edward had immediately been welcomed into the family, as had I. He and Jasper and Emmett had formed a fast friendship, one I knew would last.

The next day, we were all hiking through the woods by the cabin. All of us had dressed in layers and it felt funny trying to hold onto Jasper's hand in mittens. But we made it work.

After stopping by a frozen creek for the Cullens to try some ice skating without skates, Edward came up to me. He wrapped his left arm around me and I leaned against his side.

"I'm so glad you're here," I told him. He turned and kissed my temple.

"Me too. Jasper told me about seeing Riley at that museum." I shuddered at the memory. "Don't worry, Alice," Edward said, watching the family. "If he tries anything, he'll have to come through me."

I chuckled. "You sound like Jasper."

He smiled and glanced at me. "It's no wonder. He really does love you, Al. I can see it in his eyes. I could tell when he spoke about you through messenger." Edward paused. "How much does he know?"

"Everything," I said. He nodded.

"He's the one, Alice."

I sighed. "I think he is too, but it's still scary. I _know_ he's not like Riley but a part of me still has that fear."

Edward squeezed me tighter. "That's natural. Just continue the way you are. You'll realize he's not Riley."

"I know he's not. It's just hard."

Edward nodded.

Then I saw it. Emmett had snuck off to the side of the frozen lake and was molding a snowball. I pointed at him and Edward chuckled. Emmett looked evilly at Rosalie.

"She's in trouble," I said with a laugh.

"Indeed."

The snowball hit Rosalie's back and she spun around to yell at the culprit. When she saw it was Emmett, a wicked smile grew. She turned to Jasper and he nodded.

"Uh oh," I said.

"Yeah," Edward replied. "They're forming teams."

We went down the little hill we were on and stood beside Emmett. He was outnumbered as the Cullen clan began preparing their snowballs. I threw a smile to Jasper.

"Prepare to die," I said. He laughed. His snowball was huge.

"Winner gets a nice, hot bath," he said. I agreed and the snow began flying.

I'd never had so much fun in my life.

Later that evening, we were all in the house recovering from the snowball fight. Rosalie was sitting on the window seat on her phone, texting with Bella. Carlisle and Esme were on the couch near the fire, Esme's feet on his lap. I myself sat on Jasper's lap and Edward and Emmett each sat in lounge chairs, hoisting beers. Christmas music played softly on the radio.

It was so calm and peaceful until my phone rang.

I frowned. _Who the hell knows I'm here?_

I heard a voice that made my blood run cold.

"I hope you had a nice Christmas, Alice," Riley said. I froze. My breathing became heavy.

"Ri-Riley," I said softly. Jasper's head snapped to Edward's. Carlisle and Esme immediately ceased their conversation. Emmett coughed on his drink as he was mid-swallow when I spoke.

"Mine was boring," Riley said through the line. I pulled my phone away from my ear and put it on speaker so everyone could hear. Esme and Carlisle leaned forward in their seats. Rosalie stopped texting and looked at Emmett, who had recovered.

"Oh?" I said, trying to remain calm.

"Yeah I didn't have anyone to share it with, unlike you."

Jasper's hold on me increased. "Wh-what do you mean?" I was literally shaking and my voice showed it.

"It looks like a nice family there," Riley said with a sneer. "A nice happy family. Shame if something happened to them, especially to that pretty blond in the window."

Everyone froze.

Riley was watching us.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now that Edward is in the picture, Riley's chances of getting to her have just become harder.
> 
> Thanks for reading! Please review!


	14. Chapter 14

**Jasper**

I could see it. Alice tried very hard to not show it, but I could see it.

She was planning on breaking up with me.

After Riley's phone call, everyone jumped into action. Mom called Sam with the secret service wanting every detail on Riley Biers. She was assigning twenty-four hour protection on Alice along with Rosie and me.

"Given how he is right now, we can't be too careful," she said. We concurred.

Emmett immediately went to the window and wrapped Rosalie in his arms, showing Riley (if he was still watching) that she is protected.

Alice had jumped off of my lap after Riley's admission and was now pacing in front of the fireplace. When she turned to me with _that_ look, I cut in.

"No, Alice."

She didn't let up. "I can't risk you guys getting hurt," she said, turning to face the room. I got up and wrapped her in my arms. She didn't push me away like she had in the past when she began putting walls up.

"We are part of this. I love you, and I'm not going to let him get to you." I squeezed her tighter.

"It's not your fight," she said, voice muffled against my shirt.

"It is now, Alice."

She cried against my chest. I looked at Edward. I was so happy he had arrived. He nodded at me.

"Alice," he said softly. "Jasper loves you." He looked around the room. "And from what I can see, so does everyone else here. You are _not_ a burden. We are here. Jasper and I want to be here. We want to help fight Riley."

Alice sniffled. I stroked her cheek.

Father spoke next. "Alice," he said softly. "We are assigning security to you. Sam is drawing up anything he can find on Riley. If he so much has had an overdue library book, his team will know. We will keep security on us as well. We will be okay."

She nodded against my chest.

"Technically he threatened a United States senator," my mother said. "And her family. That alone means federal charges."

Alice pulled back and looked at me. I smiled softly, wiping her tears away. I knew her. I knew she would try again later to break things off.

_Not gonna happen, Al. I'm in too deep. I love you and I'll fight for you._

_I'll die for you._

Edward came up to me and I transferred her to his arms. I walked over to my parents. Rosalie and Emmett joined us.

"I say we leave tomorrow, as planned, and go our separate ways. He's really only interested in Alice at this point. We have security and the cabin is armed. I think we'll be okay." Mother was texting someone on her phone while she talked, no doubt someone on her staff.

I nodded. "Edward will come with us. Although I believe Riley _will_ do something, seeing two of us will make it a bit harder."

"Don't think he'll do anything right away," my sister said. "He's biding his time."

"I agree," I said. "So we keep with her. Edward, myself," I turned and looked over at them. Edward was swaying back and forth, holding Alice. He looked at me and smiled.

"Me," Rosalie added.

Turning back, I continued. "Sam, anyone. No one leaves her alone. When we're in her apartment, there is a guard outside at all times. Sam can alert the building manager."

"He's already on it," mom said. I nodded.

"He's not going to get her," I said. I walked back over to them. Alice pulled away from her brother. She turned to me, eyes downcast.

"I'm so sorry, Jazz."

I shook my head. "You have nothing to be sorry about, Al." I gently placed two fingers under her chin and lifted her head until she was looking at me. I hated that she was reverting to submission. "I love you. Don't ever doubt that."

She smiled. "I won't." I knew she believed me.

We retired for the evening shortly after that. I held Alice close to me as she slept. My mind was going a million miles a minute.

_She's mine. I love her. I won't let her go without a fight. Riley can come after me. He has NO idea whom he's dealing with._

I glanced down at her sleeping form. She looked so peaceful. I kissed the top of her head.

_Was it only two nights ago that we made love? That was the best night of my life. Her level of trust astounded me. She's right, I had been denying myself because I wanted her to know that it's not about me. It's about her, it's about us. But being with her, like that, made me love her even more._

_I definitely want to do that again. And we will. Soon. I REALLY want to see her in those long boots she has. Wearing nothing else._

I felt myself growing half-hard at that, but I didn't care. Adjusting myself, I gave her head one last kiss. She murmured something but stayed asleep.

I smiled and drifted off.

My parents hugged her tightly when we departed. Edward and I loaded the bags into the car. Esme grabbed him too.

"You and Alice, you're part of this family now," she said to both of them. She looked over at me. "And we protect our family."

I nodded.

Alice's face lit up. It had been so long since she had had a family. I even saw Edward's eyes mist up a bit. I smiled.

"Let's go."

The drive back to the city was mostly quiet. Alice dozed in the front seat and Edward read his book. I was glad for the silence as I needed time to think.

_The university needs to be alerted as well. We have pictures of Riley, they can alert security._

I glanced at my sleeping angel and took her hand.

_I love you._

I saw Edward smirk in the backseat. I flipped him off. He chuckled and continued with his book.

Dusk was setting as we pulled into the parking lot. Arriving at her floor, I took point. I looked around, seeing no one but Sam in the corner and Bella's door was open, with music blaring from it. Coast was clear.

As we walked down the hall, we heard a shriek from Bella. Sam immediately drew his gun as she ran out into the hallway and smack into Edward.

"Spider!"

We all laughed.

She glared at us. Sam holstered his weapon and returned to his corner. A smile ghosted his features.

"Big ass spider," she continued, pushing herself away from Alice's brother. The three of us continued to laugh. She frowned.

"Fuck you all."

At that we roared with laughter. Even Sam. I sent him a grin.

It was that moment that she looked at Edward.

And a spark was lit.

Even I could see it. Edward smiled and volunteered to go kill the spider. She nodded, barely glancing at us as we finished our walk to Alice's apartment. I chuckled at that. Alice rolled her eyes.

After closing the door, we dumped the bags on the couch and worked on getting some dinner ready. Plan was as of now, Edward would stay with her full time. I would be around most of the time too, but once school started up I had to be there.

"It could be weeks before we hear from Riley," she said. I shrugged.

"We'll keep you safe, as long as need be."

She nodded and pulled out a can of tuna for sandwiches. I grabbed the bread and then plates.

Edward came back in, all smiles.

"Wow. Just got into town and already have a date." He ran his hand through his hair.

Alice laughed.

"Rosalie and I were thinking Bella would be good for you."

He nodded and snatched a carrot. "She's so hot!"

Edward went to grab his bag. I walked around the island and wrapped my arm around her waist. She leaned against me.

"No breaking up?" I asked, placing a kiss at her temple.

She sighed. "Not today."

I chuckled. "Let me help." She passed me the strainer and I dumped the can of tuna into it and drained it while she chopped up celery.

I knew that with all of us, Riley wouldn't get to her. He could try, but she was safe. He'll never touch her.

_Over my dead body._


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Smut ensues in this chapter. Enjoy!
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

New Year's Eve. My favorite holiday. I loved the excitement that the New Year will bring; the plans and the promises. Everyone coming together to celebrate the same thing, uniting as one.

And I was even enjoying it, regardless of Riley.

We were sitting in my apartment with a chilled bottle of champagne and two flute glasses on the coffee table. We also had popcorn and chocolate and were making a night of it at home. Jasper wrapped his arm around me as we watched people in Manhattan prepare for the ball dropping.

My brother and Bella went on their first date. They were out celebrating the upcoming year in the city.

Although I was a bit worried about him, given Riley was still out there, I decided it was okay. He was in a big city, surrounded by people. He and Bella would be on the lookout. Plus his phone now had Sam's number and if he saw anything, he would dial it and security would be there in a minute. They had a tracer on us at all times. I had insisted that I didn't want them around all the time and Jasper relented a bit, but encouraged that Edward and I be traced. I agreed to that idea. Not that I liked these strangers knowing where I was at all times, but given the current situation, I acquiesced.

Jasper placed a kiss at my temple. I leaned into him. He smelled so good. My libido was spiking again. Ever since we made love, I have been wanting to do it again. He has too, I can tell, but is still wanting to take things slowly. And I appreciate that. Given that Riley kind of threw a wrench in our plans, he has kind of backed off. Not on loving me or wanting to be with me, no. But on the physical side. Again, denying his need.

_He needs to remember that we are BOTH needing this._

As the announcer on the TV spoke of plans for the upcoming year, I gently placed my hand on his chest and ran it up and down. He hummed, showing me he liked it.

"I love you," I whispered. He squeezed me tighter.

"I love you back."

Continuing my course south, my hand landed on his belt. He didn't flinch; I've laid my hand there before. He did react as I started undoing the belt.

"Alice…"

"Jazz," I said. "I know you've been holding back again for me. And I love you for it. I really, really do. But I _want_ you, Jazz. I _need_ you. And I know you've once again been denying yourself." I glanced at the television and back at him. His blue eyes shone love. "Let's ring in the new year right."

He kissed me softly and I finished unbuckling his belt. I pulled it out and dropped it on the floor.

"What about Edward?"

Unbuttoning his jeans, I spoke. "He's still out with Bella. It's New Year's Eve, they will be out all night." I could feel his breathing increase as I stuck my hand in between his jeans and began rubbing his dick over the fabric. He was half-hard already.

I smiled and looked up at him, batting my eyelashes. The TV blared on. "Make love to me Jazz."

His resolve broke. He leaned over and kissed me, rougher this time. His dick hardened under my hand and I yanked on his jeans to remove them.

We both stood up and quickly walked to the bedroom. Just in case Edward _did_ come home, I locked my bedroom door. Jasper was on me. He pressed me against the door as he assaulted my mouth. His dick, now rock hard, pressed against my stomach. I could feel my panties dampen at his forcefulness. I loved it.

Because it wasn't Riley. This wasn't about control.

I pushed his jeans down as he began pulling my sweater up. We undressed ourselves quickly and took a moment to admire each other. There was minimal light in the room, just a small light on the nightstand, so we were basically staring at each other in the moonlight.

He was breathtaking.

I could see the outline of his muscled chest and arms against the glow. I ran my hands over him as he kissed my neck. My knees weakened at that.

I gently pushed him to the bed and he turned me around so I would lie on the mattress. I laid my head against the pillows, marveling how the moonlight perfectly captured him in silhouette. And when I say him, I mean _all_ of him.

When he started between my legs, I felt like I had died and gone to heaven. He was so skilled down there. I pushed the thought of Maria out of my head, remembering that he was once with her. I didn't want anything to ruin this.

I heard the shout of "Happy New Year" on the television and then I knew that the celebrations on the east coast had started. I had one hour.

"Jasper," I whispered, not wanting him to stop. His tongue felt so good as he took a long swipe against my folds. My breathing was raspy. "Let's be making love when the new year hits here." He mumbled against me and his hot breath fueled my desire. "I've always wanted to be making love to someone as one year ends and the next begins."

He raised his head and looked at me, his blue eyes dark. "Your wish, my command." The Texas emerged and that was the sexiest thing ever. He returned to his work. "You taste amazing, Alice."

I gripped his hair as his movements increased. I couldn't believe he _wanted_ to do this, wanted to give _me_ pleasure.

When he sucked on my clit, I saw stars. I pulled on his hair so hard I'm sure I hurt him, but he didn't say anything. I felt my orgasm rip through me at that. He continued to lap up my juices as his hands fondled my breasts.

He moved into position above me and looked into my eyes. We had both finally gotten tested and of course, results were negative for anything nasty. And I had wanted to ride him bareback anyway. I nodded and he gripped my hips as he slowly entered me.

_God, I will NEVER get used to him inside me._

He stopped about halfway and kissed me, then pushed a little further. When he was fully sheathed, I wrapped my legs around him. I felt so full.

_Fuck me hard._

He kissed me. "Are you sure?"

_Shit, was that out loud?_

I nodded. "I've always had a kink of being fucked hard, Jazz. It's a major turn on for me. Like you literally can't get enough of me and so you just pound into me." I ran a hand over his features. His dick twitched inside me. "Do your worst."

And he did. Boy did he.

He pounded into me furiously, unforgivingly, satiating his need. I knew I would have trouble walking the next day but I was totally okay with that. What he was doing felt incredible.

"Fu-fuck meeee," I moaned into his neck, feeling his speed increase again.

I matched each thrust with my own, running my hands over his ass and pushing him even deeper. He continued to slam into me hard and pull out and do it again. I never wanted it to end.

"Al…Alice," he said as he lifted my left leg for deeper access. I arched my back to take more of him in. I felt him hit my g-spot. Stars began forming.

Feeling bold, I reached down and gently ran my fingers over his balls as he continued pounding into me. His breathing became erratic and his speed increased slightly. I could feel the bed shaking with each thrust. I absolutely fucking loved it.

My orgasm was quickly building. I was a bit disappointed as I wanted him to continue to fuck me into oblivion. But I could tell he was getting close too. I heard the television going as they were now focusing on the Chicago countdown.

"Jazz," I whispered against each thrust. "We're getting close."

"I know," he said as she slammed into me again. God, I never wanted to stop.

"The TV," I moaned out. "It's almost midnight. Almost the new year."

He leaned down and kissed me as his pelvis hit mine on a particularly hard thrust. His hand moved to stroke my clit.

And I was done. I pulled away from the kiss to scream his name as my orgasm ripped through me. Waves upon waves of pleasure overtook me. I could feel him still assaulting my vagina, his speed increased _again_ (how is that possible?) but all I was focusing on was bliss.

As I came down, I could feel him twitch. He was about to blow his load inside me and I wanted it. I wanted to be marked by him, claimed by him.

The TV was counting down. It was almost time.

"Happy," he said with a thrust. "New," another thrust. "Year," he slammed into me again, sending another wave of pleasure through me as his orgasm hit. I felt ribbons of cum spurt inside me as my walls squeezed him dry.

He collapsed against me, spent. I gently stroked his hair as he tried to regulate his breathing. I was so happy. Not only had we made love properly, but he had done it through the start of the New Year _and_ done it so hard I knew there would be bruising.

But I wasn't complaining. I was in love.

We fell asleep shortly after that, me curled against his side after he pulled out. He whispered again that he loved me. I had never been happier in my life.

_Happy New Year._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed the smuttiness. Feel free to review and show some love.


	16. Chapter 16

Riley had struck.

As we surveyed the apartment, my fear began to grow. Riley had managed to slip past Sam, past _everyone_ to sneak in. Luckily, no one was home. Edward was having dinner with Bella and I joined Jazz at an event at the university.

I stopped in the bedroom and cried. I _knew_ he would come after me. I _knew_ it. What if we had been here? Since he slipped past Sam, who else could he slip by? How did he get by Sam?

_What if he gets to Edward? Or even worse, Jazz?_

Security detail had also been added on Bella as well. Now that she was with Edward, she was a target. We were taking no chances.

Jasper came into the bedroom and wrapped his arms around me. I cried into his chest.

"He's never going to stop," I said.

Jazz let out a breath.

"Sam isn't sure how he made it past the door; he's been here all night." He ran his left hand up and down by back to comfort me. "He's devastated."

"'s not his fault." I sniffled.

"I know. But Sam is serious about his work. He _won't_ let that happen again."

I cried some more, soaking his shirt. Jasper continued to hold me, slowly leading me to the bed and setting us down on it.

"The good thing is," Jasper continued, now stroking my hair, "that nothing was really damaged. No property. The building manager is going to install security cameras on every floor. He said he should have done that years ago."

I nodded against his chest.

We were silent for a bit. I let my tears dry up and he continued to hold me, rocking gently. I really, really didn't deserve him.

When I pulled away, he leaned in and kissed me, softly. His eyes were full of love. No fear, no signs of him walking away.

"How can you love me after everything I've put you through?" I asked him.

He pushed a hair away and slowly stood up. "Because I do. I was gone on you the first time I saw your picture, Alice." He held out a hand. "This is kismet. We are meant to be together and _nothing,_ not even a stupid, psycho ex will separate us."

I chuckled at his words and took his hand. He led us through the short hallway and then into the kitchen. Everything looked calm.

"You'll stay with me tonight," Jasper said, gesturing to a packed bag by the door. I nodded. "Edward will stay with Bella."

I smirked. "I can only imagine how _that_ will go."

Jasper laughed. "Bow chicka bow wow," he said.

Now _I_ laughed. Jasper grabbed my bag as I gathered my coat and essentials. The building manager would replace the lock in the morning, install the cameras, and add extra locks on the windows.

We took the Secret Service car to his apartment. It felt strange to me, to be there. The men were very stoic. They wore suits and serious expressions. They were polite though.

On the drive, I replied to Rosalie's texts asking if we were alright. I told her we were and that I was going to stay at Jasper's. She said we'll get through this, but in the meantime, Emmett was staying with her. As a Chicago cop, the more protection the better.

Esme had called as soon as we settled. Jasper gave her the latest and she said she was informing the state police along with the FBI. "There's no way he'll get to you," she said. I smiled.

_What did I do to deserve this?_

Despite everything, I actually fell asleep quickly. I think I was just so exhausted mentally that I shut down in Jasper's arms. I awoke around eight in the morning feeling fresh. The sheets smelled like him; pine and vanilla. _So_ sexy.

Jazz had left me a note. He had morning classes but his afternoon was open. He decided he wouldn't have office hours so he could take me to the shooting range.

" _See you soon, beautiful-J."_

I smiled.

Stretching, I got up and walked into the kitchen. His apartment was pretty bare now; he had almost completely transitioned living with me. He had offered Edward the apartment when it was complete. My brother agreed and they worked out a deal in case Edward didn't get a job right away.

I knew that was impossible.

Edward Masen was one of the most talented musicians in the country. He had won awards for his performances. In fact, he was going to be performing at a local club tomorrow night. Bella was so excited to see him sing. So was I.

He was planning on opening his own studio to teach lessons. He said there are always people wanting to learn and it's a great way to get his name out there. Plus, Chicago is a bigger city so he'll make some connections. I know he wants to star in a show here.

Starting the coffee pot, I glanced around. My laptop was on the coffee table, so I sat down and opened it. I quickly scanned my emails. Nothing of importance…until….

An unknown name popped up.

I knew it was probably spam, but I opened it. It was pictures of my apartment. I drew in a breath. The main focus was the bedroom, _where Jasper and I were sleeping._ The timestamp was two days ago.

He was in the apartment when we were there.

The email said "I can always get to you." Final picture was of Riley grinning.

I began to hyperventilate. I put the laptop on the couch and ran for my phone in the bedroom. I called Jazz; straight to voicemail. I expected that.

"Hi," I said shakily. "Do not leave your classes, but I just got an email from Riley. He was fucking in my apartment while we were there. I'm panicking, Jazz."

I hung up and gripped the mattress. The room was spinning and everything was out of focus. I heard a loud roaring in my ears and then everything went dark.

* * *

I awoke to hushed voices outside the bedroom. My head was throbbing. I weakly called out "Jazz?"

The door opened and he came in swiftly. He immediately sat down by my side of the bed and took my hand. He spoke quietly.

"How are you feeling?"

I shrugged. "What happened? What's going on?" I saw Bella lurking outside the door. She turned and walked away.

"You fainted."

I looked at him. "I did?"

He nodded. He gently ran his hand over my cheek. I leaned into his touch. "You called me about Riley being in the apartment when we were there." His thumb brushed my lips. "I left as soon as my final class ended and when I got home, you were crumpled on the floor." He swallowed. "I was worried he had gotten to you here."

"I'm sorry," I said, kissing his thumb. He smiled.

"No worries, Al. I'm just glad you're alright."

"Who all is here?"

"Your brother and Bella. We all agreed we didn't want to be alone right now."

I nodded. "So what is going to happen?"

Jazz's hand gently moved to stroke my collarbone. His touch was electrifying. "The email is being analyzed."

"It's a dummy account."

He nodded, continuing his ministrations. "Yes, but we can still trace the IP address to where it was sent from. Whether that be a computer or phone. Even a burner phone we can trace. Don't worry, we're on it. And luckily, it won't take long."

He leaned down and kissed me. His grip on my neck increased as the intensity of the kiss increased. I pulled him closer to me as his tongue pushed into my mouth. We began a fight for dominance and I felt him shudder. I needed this; needed his comfort and closeness.

"Al," he said breathlessly as he pulled away slightly. "We can't do anything right now." He glanced behind him to the open door. "But I promise if you want something later, you can have it." He traced his finger over my lips again.

I opened slightly and sucked on his finger. His blue eyes grew wide. I teased him a bit for a few minutes before releasing him with a pop.

"Damn," he said softly. "Now I'm hard."

I smirked. "Preview for later."

He raised an eyebrow at me and started to speak when Bella came in. She said that she and Edward were heading out. They had the security detail taking them home and that they would be fine.

"Trust me Alice," she said. "The last thing Riley wants to do is mess with me."

I laughed. "I believe that. You'd kick his ass to China."

"Damn right."

After they were gone, Jasper and I ordered Chinese. I did feel safe at his apartment. I wasn't sure that Riley wouldn't follow us but I knew he wouldn't try anything tonight after sending me that email. He wanted to catch us off-guard.

Jazz did some work on his computer while I watched a bit of television. I needed something to distract me. I quickly realized just how easy it was being with him; living like this.

_Almost like we could be married._

I blushed at that thought.

Bella sent a text. _All clear here. Riley does not face the Wrath of Bella yet._

I chuckled and text back. _He's lucky._

She replied instantly. _Damn right._

I smiled. Even with the current situation, I had friends and loved ones who cared about me. Something I hadn't had in a long time. And what's more, they were okay with putting themselves on the line for me. I couldn't believe it. Jasper was willing to risk his life because he _wanted_ me. And so was Edward.

Even through my fear, I was happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for reading. Three chapters to go and then an epilogue.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a short chapter. Sorry!

Fear is a powerful emotion.

It can make you stronger, it can make you weaker.

All depends on how you use your fear.

Currently, it was immobilizing me.

Riley had called me, while at Jasper's apartment. I had been here two weeks now, and still, Riley hadn't been thrown off the scent. He called to say that he was going to kill Jazz and he was going to kill me and there wasn't a damn thing the Secret Service could do about it.

When he called, I signaled to Sam. They put a trace on the call. Because of the threat to a United States senator's son and myself, police were patrolling outside and in the building. I was currently sitting in the apartment with Angela, one of the agents, awaiting further instructions.

Esme and Carlisle had been relocated to a secret place; so secret they didn't even tell us. I figured that was for the best. We can't slip up and let the cat out of the bag if we don't know where they are. Rosalie and Emmett were out of the state for a weekend away and Bella and Edward were on their way over.

When they arrived, I immediately fell into Bella's arms. She hugged me tightly while my brother spoke to Angela. She was very no-nonsense. She told things like they were. She was pretty; with brown hair and glasses. I could see us maybe being friends.

She stepped outside to give us a bit of privacy. I called Jasper again. It went straight to voicemail. I figured his phone had died. When I tried the university extension, it just rang.

I wasn't worried…yet.

Edward and Bella were a huge comfort to me. The building was well guarded and everyone was safe. Jazz had security at Northwestern so Riley couldn't get to him there.

To calm my nerves, I opened a bottle of wine and we watched Netflix for a bit. I was really engrossed in the cooking show that was on when there was a knock at my door. I froze.

Edward answered it.

Angela came in, her face stoic. She approached me.

"There's been an incident. Jasper Cullen."

My blood ran cold. Bella switched off the TV and placed a hand on my shoulder.

"He took a trip to the men's room and was ambushed there. Riley had dressed like a Northwestern student and slipped past security."

My heart was pounding in my ears. I couldn't breathe. I was going to hyperventilate again.

Bella spoke. "What happened?"

"He was shot."

I collapsed to the floor, the ringing in my ears drowning out everything else. I couldn't see, couldn't hear. My worst fear has come true.

"Is-is he alright?" I dreaded the answer.

Angela looked down at me with sympathy. "He's on his way to the hospital; we will take you to him. He's alive but in critical condition."

My heart shattered after that.


	18. Chapter 18

Jasper Cullen was a fighter.

I knew that. And right now, he was fighting the hardest battle of his life.

We sat in the waiting room. I was going nuts. My biggest fear had come true; that Riley would kill everyone I love.

But that hadn't happened. After the ambush at Northwestern, Riley himself was taken down by the Secret Service. He died from the wounds he sustained. Luckily, the bullet didn't hit Jasper's heart, it was about five inches to the right. But it was still a battle.

I looked around the room. Esme, Rosalie, Emmett, Edward, and Bella were all present. Rosalie currently had her arms around me, giving me comfort. Edward and Emmett were playing cards to pass the time. Bella was reading and Esme was discussing the situation with Sam. Carlisle was performing the surgery to see if he could save his son.

I was a wreck.

Rosalie squeezed me tighter. "I have faith," she whispered.

I sighed deeply. I was happy that Riley was no longer a threat to me or those I loved. But what was the cost? My mistake, letting Jasper in, letting his family in, cost me.

_If he survives, he won't want to stay with me. Not that I blame him._

I was damaged. Permanently.

I leaned into Rosalie, who laid her head against my temple. Esme walked over to us as Sam slipped away.

"Riley had managed to sneak on campus early in the day. Security footage placed him there around 8:30 am. He had hidden the gun on campus somewhere, still reviewing the footage on that. I know my son's building doesn't allow firearms on campus. Unless it's Sam or other security."

I nodded.

"There was protection outside and inside the building. Jasper has always been stubborn when it came to the Secret Service. He insisted on using the men's room alone, and at the time, they thought it safe. The footage showed Riley following Jazz into the men's room at 10:32 am with a shot ringing out about a minute later. Security was there in thirty seconds."

I broke Rosalie's embrace and put my head in my hands. She ran a hand down my back soothingly.

"Esme," I said softly, tears welling up in my eyes. "I'm _so_ sorry."

Esme tilted her head. "You have nothing to be sorry for, dear."

I nodded, face still in hands. "Yes I do. It's because of me that this happened. I'm poison to anyone I come in contact with."

Because of my current position, I missed the look Esme and Rosalie shared. Edward had approached quietly, overhearing our conversation.

"Alice," Esme said kindly. "Let's take a stroll."

I nodded, and stood up. My eyes were red from the tears that had streamed down my cheek. Edward stepped forward and wrapped me in his arms. I needed my brother's comforting arms in that moment.

"It's okay, Alice," he said, placing a kiss on the top of my head. I sniffled. Esme smiled softly.

When he released me, I turned to follow Esme. Although the threat was over, I could see Sam's watchful eye on us as we walked. I had no idea where we were going.

Esme stopped at the pediatrics wing, looking at the newborn babies. She smiled as some of them slept, while others fussed. I smiled, watching her.

"I miss when Rose and Jasper were babies," Esme said. I nodded. She waved at a newborn that opened his eyes at her, blue eyes wide and expressive.

The baby cooed. I giggled.

"Much less complicated then, isn't it?" I asked. She nodded.

"When you're a mother, you constantly worry about your kids. You protect and shelter them when they're little and although you know you have to give them independence, you still worry. Hell, as adults I still worry."

A nurse came over and smiled at Esme, while picking the newborn up. She held it to the window so we could ooh and aww over it.

I had never really wanted kids, given my past. But that baby sure was adorable.

_Another reason for Jasper to leave me if he makes it out. If he wants children and I don't, he won't be happy with me. He'll resent me. He needs to get far away from me._

Esme continued, a strand of caramel hair falling into her eyes.

"Being the son of a United States senator all his life, Jasper has always been used to security being around. He was always headstrong and trying to hide from them. Nearly succeeded a time or two."

I chuckled. _That sounds like Jazz._

Esme then turned to me, her brown eyes warm and kind. "He went to Texas to escape this life. Did he ever tell you that?"

I shook my head.

"I remember the fight I had with him. He wanted that independence so badly. To be free of constantly being under scrutiny. To be able to go where _he_ wanted, do whatever _he_ wanted. To feel free."

Nodding, I could understand that.

"It worked for a while. He loved Texas. He thought about staying there permanently. But he missed his roots too much." She glanced at me before her next words.

"Maria saw him as a meal ticket."

My eyes darted to Esme's. Her eyes were still kind. She wrapped her arm around me and we began walking back to the waiting area.

"I knew immediately that Maria would cause trouble. I knew she would hurt him. He _thought_ it was love at the time. He was her puppet. Getting him to do what _she_ wanted to do. Treating him like dirt."

I growled at that.

We stopped suddenly. She turned to look at me, taking my hands in hers.

"Understand me, Alice. He _never_ loved her. I knew that immediately. A mother knows these things. I also know that he is head over heels for you. The first time he spoke of you, I knew."

I swallowed. I couldn't look away from her eyes; they were hypnotic. She gave my hands a squeeze.

"You don't see yourself clearly," her soft voice continued. "I can totally understand that, given what your ex did to you. That is esteem that will take years to rebuild, if at all. But know this…."

She paused. I found myself drawing closer.

" _He_ made the decision to be with you. Regardless of Riley. You brought him to life."

_And now I may have ended his life._

"I don't care about your past. I _do_ care, but you know what I mean," she said with a small smile. I smiled in return, remembering when Jasper said something similar.

"You and Edward are part of this family now. Rosalie looks at you like a sister. You are loved, Alice. I hope someday you will realize that. No matter what happens, you are family."

I began crying.

Esme's smile grew and she pulled me in for a hug. She held me as I cried on her shoulder. It had been so long since I had a _real_ family. Jazz had given Edward back to me. And in the process, gained me others as well.

She squeezed me gently and then took a step back as Carlisle approached. I looked up and began to cry again. His face was stoic.

_Jasper is GONE!_

He looked at all of us. Then his blue eyes focused on me. I figured he'd be accusatory, that it was because of me his son is gone.

Then he smiled. It lit up the room and reminded me where Jasper got it from. He was _so_ like his dad.

"Jasper made it through. You can go see him."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wasn't about to deprive you of your HEA, was I? Two chapters remaining.


	19. Chapter 19

**Jasper**

My recovery was slow.

I had the best team working to make sure I healed properly. My father performed the operation, which he told me took five hours. He said the bullet that pierced me was about five inches to the right of my heart. A lung hit, if you will. Had the secret service not gotten me to the hospital so fast I wouldn't be here today.

But I am. I'm here, recuperating, in Alice's apartment. She literally has been a godsend. I know she blames herself, of course. She reverted back to her old ways a bit, telling me she was poison to anyone she came in contact with and I should let her go.

_Never in a million years. Not even in death._

She is what kept me going.

I remember at one point, I _did_ float up outside my body. I remember watching her, how beautiful she was. It broke my heart to see her sad. My mother talked with her, comforting her. I knew I had to stay. I couldn't let the woman who saved me multiple times over spend her life with guilt. I loved her too much for that.

Her gorgeous mouth dropped in shock when I told her that.

"You," she said shakily. "You had an out-of-body experience?"

I nodded.

"And I knew, Al." I took her small hands in mine. "I've told you before we were soulmates. Mine immediately went to find you and when it did, I knew I couldn't leave you."

I pressed my lips to hers, gently.

"I love you."

She smiled against my lips and then kissed my nose. I felt her breath over my face, cool and sweet. She lowered back down to kiss me again. Her tongue entered my mouth. I loved that she was bold, that she needn't be timid with me. Such a change from when I first met her.

I kissed her back, fiercely.

My father's advice came roaring back. " _Take it easy the next few months, son. Go easy on physical activity."_

Then he looked at me with a sly smile on his face.

" _That includes sex."_

Asshole.

Lack of sex, now that I've had it with Alice, may _actually_ kill me.

_Maybe my father has truly hated me all along._

So here I was, about two months after the operation, wanting nothing more than to bury myself in her, and I couldn't.

_I hate doctors._

She ran her nimble fingers through my hair, eliciting a moan from me. I tilted her head to kiss her deeper. I wanted to drink her in. She was, after all, the reason I was still here.

_Maybe it'll be okay…._

A sharp pain in my chest made me pull back.

"Dammit," I said softly. She chuckled.

"Remember doctor's orders," she said with a smile.

"That doctor can suck a dick," I said with a frown. She laughed.

"Oh wait until I tell your father that."

"He'll agree with me," I said. She shook her head and kissed me again, gently this time.

I pouted at the loss of her physical presence when she had to go to work later that day. Bella was going to check on me, but I spent most of the afternoon sleeping on the couch.

I dreamt.

I hardly ever dream. This was vivid though. I saw Alice in a white dress, coming down an aisle towards me. I was grinning like a fool. Edward clomped a hand on my shoulder, giving it a friendly shake. Rosalie smiled from her place in line.

Alice smiled as she stood in front of me. The most beautiful creature I ever saw.

She was mine. Completely, eternally.

We exchanged vows. I promised I would always love and keep her safe. She said the same. She promised that she had changed; that _I_ had changed her. The waiting to be able to kiss her as my wife for the first time was excruciating.

And when I awoke, I knew what I had to do.

Playing on my phone, I heard the key in the lock. Now that Riley was dead, we called off security. And I was all but completely moved into her place. More so now of course, because of my injury.

_At least I have a badass scar. Battle scar._

And I won the battle.

She approached me and placed a kiss on my head. I squeezed her hand and we exchanged pleasantries.

"Thirsty?"

I nodded.

She returned to me a few minutes later with a glass of water. She had also changed into more comfortable clothing, boy shorts and a tank top. Although it was late January, her apartment was also warm.

Seeing that much exposed skin on her did a number on my control. I closed my eyes and sighed. My phone fell to the floor.

"You okay, Jasper?"

I opened them back up. The look in her eye was sultry.

_That little minx! She's doing this deliberately!_

And when I said as much, she had the gall to look innocent.

"I have no idea what you mean, Jazz." She took a long swig of water, over exaggerating as it went down her throat, looking at me the whole time. Then she caught an ice cube with her _very talented_ tongue.

Turning completely to me, she sucked on it slowly. Her brown eyes darkened. Then she slowly licked her plump lips, keeping her tongue in her teeth.

I had been hard the moment she walked through the door. Now I was aching.

"Dammit!" I said as I launched towards her, pinning her on the couch. She giggled as I attacked her mouth, my dick _very_ awake. I rolled my hips against hers, letting her feel me, _all_ of me, as I moved down to suck on her neck. She was definitely going to be marked up. For my sister, her brother, the whole world to see.

She was mine.

The pain my chest jabbed me but wasn't bad. I was at the point where I didn't care how strong it was, _nothing_ was going to keep me from sex with Alice.

I moved to the left side of her neck, leaving marks there as well. Her hands ran down my spine, eliciting a moan from me. My dick twitched inside my pants as I felt her pelvis rub against me to cause friction.

I groaned.

The noises she made under me spurred me on. This boring night just got a whole lot better.

_If this how I go, at least I'll go out happy._

She really will be the death of me. And I'll gladly die for her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading. Epilogue next.


	20. Chapter 20

Epilogue

I glanced at my fiancé across the table.

He looked so sexy wearing workout clothes. The pants on him were tight in all the right places. Muscles strained against the hem of his shirt sleeves. He was thinner, leaner, than before. Not that he was ever chunky. But now, toned and beautiful.

_I can't believe he did that for me._

After our engagement, he said he wanted to get fit. He had regularly gone to the gym but increased his time because he wanted to start our marriage off right. I think he was a little concerned that I may not love him if he was overweight.

_Shallow thinking._

I told him that but he still insisted. I had increased my activity too, joining a yoga and spin class. I _really_ wanted to be flexible for our wedding night.

I thought back to the night he proposed. We had stayed home, much preferring the comfort of each other to the public. We ordered Chinese and put Netflix on. It was literally a perfect, casual night at home.

At one point, I got up to put the leftovers away. When I returned, I saw a gift on the coffee table. I looked at him quizzically.

"Just open it," he said softly.

A beautiful diamond ring sat inside the box. I inhaled a breath sharply.

Jasper moved from the couch to kneeling in front of me on the floor. I looked into his blue eyes, wide and expressive. He took my free hand.

"Alice," he said, some of the Texas coming out, "before I met you, I was going through the motions. I wasn't lonely, per se, but I really had no interest in a relationship. When Rose showed me your picture, I knew I was done."

He brought one of my hands to his lips and kissed it before continuing. "You took a chance, risked yourself _and_ your heart on me and I'm so thankful that you did. Your strength and bravery to push past your previous abuse made me love you even more. Do you know when I realized I loved you?"

I shook my head, tears slowly starting to fall.

"It was the first time you came to one of my events at Northwestern. I never really asked nor expected you to. This was a holdover from Maria. She never cared about anything I did and I would always be disappointed when she never showed."

I squeezed his hand.

"When I saw you there, that was it. I realized that you _did_ care about me and that you were the one. My heart swelled so much and I knew."

I smiled.

He gently took the box from my other hand. He held it up to me. "You have changed me, Alice Brandon. I fell in love with the woman from an abusive past and I will love you 'til my _true_ dying days. And even after that. You are my life, my soulmate."

He swallowed, his Adam's apple bobbing hard. It was so cute.

"Alice Brandon, will you be my wife?"

I nodded and threw my arms around him. He chuckled as he pulled me back far enough to kiss me tenderly.

"What?" Jasper asked me, jolting me out of my memory.

I shrugged. "Just thinking about the night you proposed."

He got up and walked over to me, placing a soft kiss on my lips. "Best night ever."

We spent the rest of the day having our _own_ workout.

* * *

I smiled as I laid next to him, safe in his arms as he ran his fingers up and down my back. I thought about our lives now.

He was completely moved in with me, of course. That happened during his recovery. He had also been promoted to head of the history department at Northwestern; the youngest chair ever. He led the soccer and chess teams to two more victories before turning the reins over to his assistant. Now with having to run the whole department, he had other duties he had to complete. But I know he misses it some days.

My brother, Jasper's best man, moved into Jasper's apartment and opened his own studio to teach music lessons. Mostly voice, but he had a few guitar and piano students as well. Edward was very popular and had a two-year waiting list to sign up for lessons. He even taught a class at Jasper's school after a _very_ high recommendation. He was also auditioning for musicals in the area as he wanted to showcase his vocal talents. And he's thinking of starting an album next year.

I smiled thinking about him. He and Bella are going strong. Not living together yet but I see that in the next year. I was so thankful to have her in my life; she truly is a wonderful friend. And has been so helpful to me as a bridesmaid!

Rosalie and Emmett are living together. Emmett had left for a bit to go to Quantico. He had always had a desire to be FBI. So now he works out of the Chicago office investigating cases. My maid-of-honor and Jasper's groomsman made our lives complete.

And we're considering getting a dog as our wedding present to each other.

Esme was still senator, though she is planning on retiring after one more term. Carlisle did retire from the hospital and took up teaching. He teaches basic anatomy to high schoolers twice a week. He's also enjoying retirement and frequently spends his time on the golf course.

"What are you thinking about?" Jasper asked me quietly. I placed a kiss on his shoulder.

"Our lives. How they turned out." I glanced at him. "We got the fairy tale."

He smiled. "I know I did."

I raised up on my elbow and looked into his beautiful blue eyes. "Thank you," I said sincerely.

"For what?"

"For taking a chance on me. For not giving up, even when I believed I was beyond repair. For seeing past my scars and believing in the person underneath the fear."

Jasper kissed me softly. "I always knew you were there, Al. I would have given you all the time you needed to discover that for yourself."

I nodded. "I know. And I'm so happy Rosalie meddled and set us up." He chuckled.

"And she reminds me of that every chance she gets," he said.

I laughed. "Sounds like her."

"Indeed."

We spent the rest of the day in bed enjoying each other. Sometimes we made love, sometimes we just cuddled. I was truly happy. Jasper had come into my life, changed my whole perspective. Showed me that there _are_ decent men out there. Proved it to me so many times through words and actions. He risked his life for me. I may never be able to repay him for everything, but I know I have repaid him for allowing him in. Allowing him to take over my heart and soul. He truly made me come alive.

He made me begin again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who read and reviewed.


End file.
